Listen to it:
Frank Sinatra - Fly me to the moon
Friday
Where's The Snow?!
It's been two weeks since we last had snow. No, put it three. All the snow is gone and it rains almost every day. I wish it stopped raining already - though I was happy first, since it was a very dry and warm summer..
Except for last Sunday. The weather was fine - though a bit chilly - and we took my telescope out. I managed to see the Horsehead nebula and the Cassini division of Saturn. I guess I'll soon have to buy another, larger, heavier and more expensive telescope. If I could only win in the lottery or at least have a job, I'd get this one: CPC 1100 GPS (XLT)And yes, my current telescope is far from "good". I have a Tasco Luminova 114x900 with a 4mm, 9mm, 10mm, 20mm and 25mm oculars and a 2x Barlow and a 3x Barlow. A good starter telescope, though.
Except for last Sunday. The weather was fine - though a bit chilly - and we took my telescope out. I managed to see the Horsehead nebula and the Cassini division of Saturn. I guess I'll soon have to buy another, larger, heavier and more expensive telescope. If I could only win in the lottery or at least have a job, I'd get this one: CPC 1100 GPS (XLT)And yes, my current telescope is far from "good". I have a Tasco Luminova 114x900 with a 4mm, 9mm, 10mm, 20mm and 25mm oculars and a 2x Barlow and a 3x Barlow. A good starter telescope, though.
Wednesday
Pretty Words
I had a terrible evening today.
I've been struggling with some school work for days. I don't feel like doing it.
One of my friends said I was stiff.
And then he said I'm strict.
And then I was chatting in Messenger with an old friend of mine and said that I was once made a death metal song named "Ugly", he said:
"I have always thought you are beautiful.."
That melted my heart, as this friend of mine usually is so harsh towards women.
Later I said he's free to go to bed, he needn't keep me company, and he said:
"It's nice to talk with you. Always, you're nice to hang out with, IRL too."
It made me feel so good.
That someone likes to spend time with me and wasn't in a hurry to leave or do something else.
I've been struggling with some school work for days. I don't feel like doing it.
One of my friends said I was stiff.
And then he said I'm strict.
And then I was chatting in Messenger with an old friend of mine and said that I was once made a death metal song named "Ugly", he said:
"I have always thought you are beautiful.."
That melted my heart, as this friend of mine usually is so harsh towards women.
Later I said he's free to go to bed, he needn't keep me company, and he said:
"It's nice to talk with you. Always, you're nice to hang out with, IRL too."
It made me feel so good.
That someone likes to spend time with me and wasn't in a hurry to leave or do something else.
Monday
The Winter Is Cancelled
The snow is gone.
:(
It's been raining for almost two weeks. We had a promising amount of snow on the ground but now it is gone. It's dark, wet and everyone's depressed.
No wonder my country tops the suicide counts.
:(
It's been raining for almost two weeks. We had a promising amount of snow on the ground but now it is gone. It's dark, wet and everyone's depressed.
No wonder my country tops the suicide counts.
Sunday
Vivid Dreams
Lately I've had these very, very realistic dreams of which I always wake up utterly happy and feeling loved.. They always include the same ingredients: hot, sizzling hot guy, kisses, magic (spells), money and so deep love it's hard to wake up in the morning and realize I took the blue pill instead of the red.
I want to see how long the rabbit hole goes! Please mr. Postman, stop waking me up at 10 am on the days I can sleep 'til afternoon! I like my dreams now.
I've never been a believer in anything supernatural (except the messages I get in my dreams) but I tend to believe that my dream catcher has kept my nightmares away most of the time.
I want to see how long the rabbit hole goes! Please mr. Postman, stop waking me up at 10 am on the days I can sleep 'til afternoon! I like my dreams now.
I've never been a believer in anything supernatural (except the messages I get in my dreams) but I tend to believe that my dream catcher has kept my nightmares away most of the time.
Wednesday
The Heartthrob Of The Year 2006
I didn't like him in Days or Our Lives (Actually I've only seen one episode), I didn't like him in Dawson's Creek, not in Smallville. But I like him now. He obviously needed to get a bit older to catch my eye and now he has catched my eye so badly, that Ewan McGregors' residency in my (wet) dreams is soon gone.
May I present: Jensen Ackles, Heart-Throb Of The Year 2006 - Who needed to get older to look drop dead gorgeous.
... to get that look just once:
Courtesy of season 2 EP 6
May I present: Jensen Ackles, Heart-Throb Of The Year 2006 - Who needed to get older to look drop dead gorgeous.
... to get that look just once:
Courtesy of season 2 EP 6
Thursday
Hubble Stays Alive!
YES! YES!
On 31st October NASA announced plans for a fifth servicing mission to the Hubble Space Telescope. Shuttle astronauts will visit the telescope to extend and improve the observatory's capabilities through 2013.
Excellent!
For Hubble: Mogwai - Auto Rock
On 31st October NASA announced plans for a fifth servicing mission to the Hubble Space Telescope. Shuttle astronauts will visit the telescope to extend and improve the observatory's capabilities through 2013.
Excellent!
For Hubble: Mogwai - Auto Rock
Sunday
I Can Feel It In The Air Tonight
Listen to the nonpoint version (which you can find on Miami Vice OST) of In the Air Tonight.
Well I remember
I remember dont worry
How could I ever forget
Its the first time
The last time
We ever met
Oddly, this is how I feel.
Drunk.
Home early.
Had fun.
:)
Well I remember
I remember dont worry
How could I ever forget
Its the first time
The last time
We ever met
Oddly, this is how I feel.
Drunk.
Home early.
Had fun.
:)
Wednesday
Nokia N70
I have had my N70 for three months now.
I have noticed that every time I try to install a game it crashes at least twice before it does anything. The lowest brightness value is too bright (and battery consuming) for use in the darkness (it's a good flashlight, though).
The camera takes a good picture most of the time. If the target doesn't move and is closer than 10 feet. A moving target is a big no-no and preferrably it should be a sunny day. And yes, I know there's a flash. But anyway.
Loading a program takes forever.
The default themes suck.
The cover wears out very soon (my phone lost its "paint" a month ago), the camera cover will get loose at some point (too soon).
So it is:
Expensive and worth shit. Do yourself a favor and forget that you even thought buying it. Instead, go get a Samsung. Or if you really, really want a Nokia, do yourself another favor and choose N73. At least they fixed a few bugs. Or buy a Japansese phone that is an exact copy of N70, but without the bugs.
I hate my phone.
And I hate the 400$ I spent on it.
I have noticed that every time I try to install a game it crashes at least twice before it does anything. The lowest brightness value is too bright (and battery consuming) for use in the darkness (it's a good flashlight, though).
The camera takes a good picture most of the time. If the target doesn't move and is closer than 10 feet. A moving target is a big no-no and preferrably it should be a sunny day. And yes, I know there's a flash. But anyway.
Loading a program takes forever.
The default themes suck.
The cover wears out very soon (my phone lost its "paint" a month ago), the camera cover will get loose at some point (too soon).
So it is:
Expensive and worth shit. Do yourself a favor and forget that you even thought buying it. Instead, go get a Samsung. Or if you really, really want a Nokia, do yourself another favor and choose N73. At least they fixed a few bugs. Or buy a Japansese phone that is an exact copy of N70, but without the bugs.
I hate my phone.
And I hate the 400$ I spent on it.
Friday
Good Luck For Your Journey
I wish I was there to see you lift off :)
Oh and I came across to this article when I was trying to find the pictures of the collision of Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 with Jupiter. The article is so funny :)
And, when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night,
And pay no worship to the garish sun.
Shakespeare
Oh and I came across to this article when I was trying to find the pictures of the collision of Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 with Jupiter. The article is so funny :)
And, when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night,
And pay no worship to the garish sun.
Shakespeare
SAVE HUBBLE!
It has brought us images and information we'd otherwise wait for gods-know-how-long. It has made scientists' life easier for a very long time now and they are just letting it slowly die alone up there. No fixing flight because of a bunch of idiots who sob after people who voluntarely left the ground, knowing they might die. I have had almost a similar talk about the soldiers sent to Irak (they also knew that choosing military career would possibly take them to war).
Hubble was launched in 1990. Its original mission was supposed to last 15 years but the serving time was extended to last 20 years, with a projected end date of 2010. With the cancellation of Servicing Mission 4, Hubble will probably not last that long. The cancellation reason was the Columbia accident.
Scientists and engineers are looking at ways to stretch Hubble's life out as long as possible. Hubble has six gyroscopes. Two are broken and would have been replaced on Servicing Mission 4. Three are working and used every day. One is on standby as a backup gyroscope since 2005, if I remember correctly. The batteries Hubble uses lose their charge more quickly as they get older and eventually the batteries are unable to hold a charge and poor old Hubble becomes inoperable. Hubble will continue to orbit the Earth until they figure out how to safely de-orbit it. Hubble will fall to Earth and crash into the ocean. Thanks for that too, though I love Hubble, I'd appreciate less crap in the ocean.
They are planning to replace Hubble with the James Webb Space Telescope which would be launched in 2013 or 2014. I know JWST's mirror would be six times the one in Hubble, but Hubble is like a grand-dad for me, providing the means for the future. It's a shame it's just going to get dropped down because it's getting old.
If Hubble was designed to fit for instance, Russian equipment, I bet they'd already fixed it because they don't sob-sob-yadi-yada over a few dead people (who again, knew the risks on flight).
And the other poor thingies.. Voyagers are still going out there. I can only imagine what they get to see and experience. I wish I was there with them, just to keep them company :´) I'm glad they're still listened. I know I'm talking silly things, but I just can't stop. If you'd like to have a little moment with these thoughts, go to the Chronology of Space Exploration.
I'm sad I won't be here in 2100 to see what has been found.
Hubble was launched in 1990. Its original mission was supposed to last 15 years but the serving time was extended to last 20 years, with a projected end date of 2010. With the cancellation of Servicing Mission 4, Hubble will probably not last that long. The cancellation reason was the Columbia accident.
Scientists and engineers are looking at ways to stretch Hubble's life out as long as possible. Hubble has six gyroscopes. Two are broken and would have been replaced on Servicing Mission 4. Three are working and used every day. One is on standby as a backup gyroscope since 2005, if I remember correctly. The batteries Hubble uses lose their charge more quickly as they get older and eventually the batteries are unable to hold a charge and poor old Hubble becomes inoperable. Hubble will continue to orbit the Earth until they figure out how to safely de-orbit it. Hubble will fall to Earth and crash into the ocean. Thanks for that too, though I love Hubble, I'd appreciate less crap in the ocean.
They are planning to replace Hubble with the James Webb Space Telescope which would be launched in 2013 or 2014. I know JWST's mirror would be six times the one in Hubble, but Hubble is like a grand-dad for me, providing the means for the future. It's a shame it's just going to get dropped down because it's getting old.
If Hubble was designed to fit for instance, Russian equipment, I bet they'd already fixed it because they don't sob-sob-yadi-yada over a few dead people (who again, knew the risks on flight).
And the other poor thingies.. Voyagers are still going out there. I can only imagine what they get to see and experience. I wish I was there with them, just to keep them company :´) I'm glad they're still listened. I know I'm talking silly things, but I just can't stop. If you'd like to have a little moment with these thoughts, go to the Chronology of Space Exploration.
I'm sad I won't be here in 2100 to see what has been found.
My Dream Holiday Spot & Weird Thinking
Don't open the links unless you really want to see the photos. As they belong to someone else than me (I wish I could be there..)
My Dream Holiday Spot would be here.
If you really, really, really think about it, doesn't it make you feel unworthy and small to know that all the stones you see, have been here thousands of years before you and will continue to be after you? Some turtles outlive two humans. Cockroaches are the likely survivors of nuclear war.
The journey to Proxima Centauri (Aka Alpha Centauri C) - the nearest star outside our solar system - would take 160 000 years using the Space Shuttle. In comparison, in 1997 Paleontologists found the so-far oldest fossilized remains of modern humans, the portions of skulls belonging to people who lived 160,000 years ago. Proxima Centauri can't even theoretically support life. The closest sun-like planet is Alpha in the Centauri Triple-Starlet and it's a bit older than ours and if it had an Earth-like planet hanging around it, they'd be at least million years ahead of us in life (or in destruction). This is a little table I found circling in the intahweb:
What if we end up destroying what we have here? Well, we always have Mars.
It will take at least three years to reach Mars. Mercury is close to Sun, but hey, at least it's not made of gas. The probe sent to Mercury will have to travel for over six years. Think back six years.
Look at this and feel insignificant: How beautiful.
My Dream Holiday Spot would be here.
If you really, really, really think about it, doesn't it make you feel unworthy and small to know that all the stones you see, have been here thousands of years before you and will continue to be after you? Some turtles outlive two humans. Cockroaches are the likely survivors of nuclear war.
The journey to Proxima Centauri (Aka Alpha Centauri C) - the nearest star outside our solar system - would take 160 000 years using the Space Shuttle. In comparison, in 1997 Paleontologists found the so-far oldest fossilized remains of modern humans, the portions of skulls belonging to people who lived 160,000 years ago. Proxima Centauri can't even theoretically support life. The closest sun-like planet is Alpha in the Centauri Triple-Starlet and it's a bit older than ours and if it had an Earth-like planet hanging around it, they'd be at least million years ahead of us in life (or in destruction). This is a little table I found circling in the intahweb:
What if we end up destroying what we have here? Well, we always have Mars.
It will take at least three years to reach Mars. Mercury is close to Sun, but hey, at least it's not made of gas. The probe sent to Mercury will have to travel for over six years. Think back six years.
Look at this and feel insignificant: How beautiful.
Tuesday
Friday
Yup, It's official!
Winter is coming.
I'm sick. Had a terrible flu since last sunday and yesterday I could barely breathe. I had to go to the HealthCare Center and have some extra oxygen (once again). It's funny how the doctor was so nice about it. She said: "For the next couple of days, If you feel even the slightest unease, come and we'll patch you up again". 13CAD is not a big money for being able to breathe.
Forgot to mention that J bought a car. A cute little Ford Ka. He had a nice sky-blue Nissan Cherry -85, which he loved, but Cherry didn't want to keep on moving, so it had to be replaced. I have to admit that I ended up dropping a tear or two as I was cleaning it up. That car did take us to a whole lotta places. J's dad had the car since 89 and J got it from him in 1998 or something.. It never left him on the road and refused to start only once before it got sick. Now J's Cherry is sitting on one of J's co-workers yard, waiting to be torn down in spare parts. But I like to think that at least its parts keep on moving rather than being put in to box (if you know what I mean..). Lately I've found out that I've started worrying about all silly things.. like I almost started crying when I saw a pigeon with a broken wing. I wanted to take it home, give it a bath and some bird seeds. Silly, eh? That happenes often these days. It has to be a dead tree or a bird or a old plate.. I'm going nuts, I know. Slowly, but surely.
I'm sick. Had a terrible flu since last sunday and yesterday I could barely breathe. I had to go to the HealthCare Center and have some extra oxygen (once again). It's funny how the doctor was so nice about it. She said: "For the next couple of days, If you feel even the slightest unease, come and we'll patch you up again". 13CAD is not a big money for being able to breathe.
Forgot to mention that J bought a car. A cute little Ford Ka. He had a nice sky-blue Nissan Cherry -85, which he loved, but Cherry didn't want to keep on moving, so it had to be replaced. I have to admit that I ended up dropping a tear or two as I was cleaning it up. That car did take us to a whole lotta places. J's dad had the car since 89 and J got it from him in 1998 or something.. It never left him on the road and refused to start only once before it got sick. Now J's Cherry is sitting on one of J's co-workers yard, waiting to be torn down in spare parts. But I like to think that at least its parts keep on moving rather than being put in to box (if you know what I mean..). Lately I've found out that I've started worrying about all silly things.. like I almost started crying when I saw a pigeon with a broken wing. I wanted to take it home, give it a bath and some bird seeds. Silly, eh? That happenes often these days. It has to be a dead tree or a bird or a old plate.. I'm going nuts, I know. Slowly, but surely.
Wednesday
My Cast
If I could make a movie about a book from my favorite author, Jean Auel, I would make a movie about Mammoth Hunters, though it is rather boring. It would be of good artistic value and easy to transfer to a script and would allow some special effects and great soap (!). This would be the cast of the main characters: (note all the superfamous people)
Ayla: I guess I should say Daryl Hannah, as she was Ayla in Clan of the Cave Bear, but I would really like to see Deborah Kara Unger play Ayla. I have liked her since she starred in Thirteen. But, as Ayla is - what - barely eighteen, she'd have to look young but have a sort of a Sense of Ancients.. Though she's 24 already, I'd put Jessica Biel into her character. Ayla has to be very fit, so Jessica fills that requirement as well. Her face has something ethereal, she's very beautiful.
Jondalar: As much as I would like to name one of my favorite actors, Ewan McGregor - as Jondalar, I won't do it. Ewan is blonde and blue-eyed, but he has too much smile in his eyes - and Jondalar is sizzling hot (sorry Ewan) and serious. He's the only character I had trouble with. I could've also chosen Gerard Butler, but he's too old too! I also thought about many today's actors, but there's no one to fill up Jondalar's boots. I even went through more than a hundred male models. Then I came across with him: Malte Heininger. They could cut his lines since I bet this cutie pie can't speak more than two words English, but who cares? Or Jondalar could be this equally gorgeous dreamy: Rob Warrington.
Ranec: Chris Rock. I never saw anyone else. He should be sorta handsome, but the fact that Auel emphasizes the smile of Ranec. And Chris Rock seems short and fit...
Frebec: I'd see John Light as Frebec. John Light has always done movies I think are C rather than B, but I like his face. He's overall appearance would match the image I got out of Frebec. He'd also make a good Joharran (Jondalar's brother) if the movie was about the latest book.
Fralie: As her name sounds, something frail.. Kelly McDonald. I remember her from the movie Girl in the cafe (with old-but-gorgeous Bill Nighy). She's cute. And would look great with children.
Nezzie: Where would we find a warm looking woman? Patricia Arquette. She'd have to put a lot weight on, though. I like her, she's great.
Latie: Zooey Deschanel. She'd have to look like a teenager, but with that face I'd say easy as hell. Plus she's pretty. I'd also put her in the role of Folara of the latest Earth's Children book.
Mamut: I would like to see Mamut as a sort of a comic character.. William L Petersen. He's one of the reasons I have seen every single ep of CSI. Twice.
Tulie: Stephanie March. She'd have to puff herself, though.
Talut: Dominic Purcell. He'd have to puff himself a little. And dye his hair red.
Who else would I have to add?
Oh, I'd also have to give a role to Wentworth Miller, of whom I liked very much when he played the lost Nam soldier in Ghost Whisperer.
Ayla: I guess I should say Daryl Hannah, as she was Ayla in Clan of the Cave Bear, but I would really like to see Deborah Kara Unger play Ayla. I have liked her since she starred in Thirteen. But, as Ayla is - what - barely eighteen, she'd have to look young but have a sort of a Sense of Ancients.. Though she's 24 already, I'd put Jessica Biel into her character. Ayla has to be very fit, so Jessica fills that requirement as well. Her face has something ethereal, she's very beautiful.
Jondalar: As much as I would like to name one of my favorite actors, Ewan McGregor - as Jondalar, I won't do it. Ewan is blonde and blue-eyed, but he has too much smile in his eyes - and Jondalar is sizzling hot (sorry Ewan) and serious. He's the only character I had trouble with. I could've also chosen Gerard Butler, but he's too old too! I also thought about many today's actors, but there's no one to fill up Jondalar's boots. I even went through more than a hundred male models. Then I came across with him: Malte Heininger. They could cut his lines since I bet this cutie pie can't speak more than two words English, but who cares? Or Jondalar could be this equally gorgeous dreamy: Rob Warrington.
Ranec: Chris Rock. I never saw anyone else. He should be sorta handsome, but the fact that Auel emphasizes the smile of Ranec. And Chris Rock seems short and fit...
Frebec: I'd see John Light as Frebec. John Light has always done movies I think are C rather than B, but I like his face. He's overall appearance would match the image I got out of Frebec. He'd also make a good Joharran (Jondalar's brother) if the movie was about the latest book.
Fralie: As her name sounds, something frail.. Kelly McDonald. I remember her from the movie Girl in the cafe (with old-but-gorgeous Bill Nighy). She's cute. And would look great with children.
Nezzie: Where would we find a warm looking woman? Patricia Arquette. She'd have to put a lot weight on, though. I like her, she's great.
Latie: Zooey Deschanel. She'd have to look like a teenager, but with that face I'd say easy as hell. Plus she's pretty. I'd also put her in the role of Folara of the latest Earth's Children book.
Mamut: I would like to see Mamut as a sort of a comic character.. William L Petersen. He's one of the reasons I have seen every single ep of CSI. Twice.
Tulie: Stephanie March. She'd have to puff herself, though.
Talut: Dominic Purcell. He'd have to puff himself a little. And dye his hair red.
Who else would I have to add?
Oh, I'd also have to give a role to Wentworth Miller, of whom I liked very much when he played the lost Nam soldier in Ghost Whisperer.
Sunday
Ewan McGregor
Lately I've been having a lot of dreams about Ewan. Mostly excellent, hot, nice, loveable [and tons of other positive words] -dreams.
Mi sopragiunse uno soave sonno
Vide cor tuum
E d'esto core ardendo
Cor tuum
La letizia si convertia in amarissimo pianto
Io sono in pace
Vide cor meum
I'm not a fan.
Mi sopragiunse uno soave sonno
Vide cor tuum
E d'esto core ardendo
Cor tuum
La letizia si convertia in amarissimo pianto
Io sono in pace
Vide cor meum
I'm not a fan.
TOP 30 EVER FILE
I browsed thru some top 100 ever lists and thought most of them were bull.. Meaning I had to name the 30 ever best tunes/floorfillers/whatever
30
The original song put together by Tears for fears, but I wish Gary Jules and his pal got the whole credit.
Gary Jules - Mad World
29
A tune for the rainy nights:
Sarah McLachlan - Angel
28
You've heard it:
REM - Daysleeper
27
You can still play this to a crowd and the floor is filled:
Jon Cutler - It's Yours
26
I prefer the one remix by Mike Monday, but the original's fine too!
Chopstick & Spoiled - Who Is It?
25
Hard to forget:
Jaydee - Plastic Dreams
24
This is sort of a remix.. but rarely one can put a classical piece and turn it to a ... well - classic.
William Orbit - Barber's Adagio For Strings
23
This goes out for all the hundred pieces alike:
Three Drives - Greece 2000
22
One happy tune:
Joy Kitikonti - Joyenergizer
21
You'll have to admit: You like it!
Tim DeLuxe - It Just Won't Do
20
You've heard it, they've remixed it..
Energy 54 - Cafe Del Mar
19
And I didn't like this at first..
Josh Wink - Higher State of Consciousness
18
This has to be on this list:
Faithless - God Is a DJ
17
Yup. He's hot and he makes killer tunes..
Jamiroquai - Canned Heat
16
Can you deny it?
Underworld - Born Slippy
15
Most of the remixes were better, but hey..
Ayla - Ayla
14
You might have seen the movie American Beauty, but I found this on a sixth-season CSI episode..
Thomas Newman - Dead Already
13
This credit should go to the guy who made the best remix ever, but..
Marcello Castelli - Sonar
12
I'm not a fan, but..
U2 - Elevation
11
There's gotta be a Moby piece on every list..
Moby - Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?
10
Flat Eric might have something to with it.. and the beat IS flat.
Mr. Oizo - Flat Beat
9
There's a latin person inside everyone.. just let it out..
Afro Medusa - Pasilda
8
I remember I was in 737 and this one came out with a slightly harder bass.. Ppl went nuts!
Black Legend - You See The Trouble With Me
7
Oldies but goldies..
PPK - Resurrection
6
Talkin' about the real deal here..
Beethoven - Moonlight Sonata
5
This is the only pure remix award:
Utah Saints - Lost Vagueness (Oliver Lieb's Main Mix)
4
I still remember where I was and what I was doing and with who..
Chemical Brothers - Hey Boy, Hey Girl
3
I might have the wrong reasons, but add a Christopher Walken dancing.. This one has bigger balls than the Marines!
Fatboy slim - Weapon of Choice
2
How can a tune be sexy?
Vibe Residents - Temptation
1
I am ashamed to announce that the best ever is:
DJ Tiësto - Theme from Norefjell
30
The original song put together by Tears for fears, but I wish Gary Jules and his pal got the whole credit.
Gary Jules - Mad World
29
A tune for the rainy nights:
Sarah McLachlan - Angel
28
You've heard it:
REM - Daysleeper
27
You can still play this to a crowd and the floor is filled:
Jon Cutler - It's Yours
26
I prefer the one remix by Mike Monday, but the original's fine too!
Chopstick & Spoiled - Who Is It?
25
Hard to forget:
Jaydee - Plastic Dreams
24
This is sort of a remix.. but rarely one can put a classical piece and turn it to a ... well - classic.
William Orbit - Barber's Adagio For Strings
23
This goes out for all the hundred pieces alike:
Three Drives - Greece 2000
22
One happy tune:
Joy Kitikonti - Joyenergizer
21
You'll have to admit: You like it!
Tim DeLuxe - It Just Won't Do
20
You've heard it, they've remixed it..
Energy 54 - Cafe Del Mar
19
And I didn't like this at first..
Josh Wink - Higher State of Consciousness
18
This has to be on this list:
Faithless - God Is a DJ
17
Yup. He's hot and he makes killer tunes..
Jamiroquai - Canned Heat
16
Can you deny it?
Underworld - Born Slippy
15
Most of the remixes were better, but hey..
Ayla - Ayla
14
You might have seen the movie American Beauty, but I found this on a sixth-season CSI episode..
Thomas Newman - Dead Already
13
This credit should go to the guy who made the best remix ever, but..
Marcello Castelli - Sonar
12
I'm not a fan, but..
U2 - Elevation
11
There's gotta be a Moby piece on every list..
Moby - Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?
10
Flat Eric might have something to with it.. and the beat IS flat.
Mr. Oizo - Flat Beat
9
There's a latin person inside everyone.. just let it out..
Afro Medusa - Pasilda
8
I remember I was in 737 and this one came out with a slightly harder bass.. Ppl went nuts!
Black Legend - You See The Trouble With Me
7
Oldies but goldies..
PPK - Resurrection
6
Talkin' about the real deal here..
Beethoven - Moonlight Sonata
5
This is the only pure remix award:
Utah Saints - Lost Vagueness (Oliver Lieb's Main Mix)
4
I still remember where I was and what I was doing and with who..
Chemical Brothers - Hey Boy, Hey Girl
3
I might have the wrong reasons, but add a Christopher Walken dancing.. This one has bigger balls than the Marines!
Fatboy slim - Weapon of Choice
2
How can a tune be sexy?
Vibe Residents - Temptation
1
I am ashamed to announce that the best ever is:
DJ Tiësto - Theme from Norefjell
Wednesday
Human - Kind?
I was just wondering..
The dead uncle is still dead, by the way. Everyone's gone nuts.
Anyway, yesterday I realized that something has to be done. I remember thinking that the US went to Irak just to gain power over the oil. Now that Iran is giving the rest of the world all the threats it can possibly give, I wonder if some of the hipocrisy so many people had (when they kept whining about their sons getting killed in Irak) will eventually crumble down? And I also take back some good words I've talked for the brave people of China. 'Cause they're backing up Iran. Please, US and GB, please GO TO IRAN, together, and do something they do. Offense Is the Best Defense and all the bullcrap... I don't give a fuck if innocent people die, 'cause most of the people there are brainwashed to believe all the bullshit they've been fed by their government. And when we were in war, a lot of innocent people died. Innocent people have died ever since the dawn of people and will continue to die.. Disabling their army isn't good enough, because their children will grow up and build new armies, they have to be controlled by someone who can respect their culture, but still keep them in leash. I usually don't appreciate the US and its fellows, but I wish that they'd do something. And not just them, I hope that France (like those pussies ever got the balls to do anything), Russia and China would go there too.
Now, I'm not trying to lift Iran-opposing thoughts, everyone has or doesn't have an opinion - this is mine. I'm only concerned about the planet. Everyone has seen what damage nukes can do and I don't want that to happen to my favorite planet - the only one we can live on, if some of you have forgotten..
Everyone - including myself - are so greedy.. It's all about the money, money, land, and lemmethink - money..
I'd like the humankind to destroy itself - but without doing any harm for the other living things here. Nukes will destroy all life, so that's not the thing - but I still keep hoping for AIDS and the avian influenza to do the trick. Or ebola.. or the third global ice age..
The dead uncle is still dead, by the way. Everyone's gone nuts.
Anyway, yesterday I realized that something has to be done. I remember thinking that the US went to Irak just to gain power over the oil. Now that Iran is giving the rest of the world all the threats it can possibly give, I wonder if some of the hipocrisy so many people had (when they kept whining about their sons getting killed in Irak) will eventually crumble down? And I also take back some good words I've talked for the brave people of China. 'Cause they're backing up Iran. Please, US and GB, please GO TO IRAN, together, and do something they do. Offense Is the Best Defense and all the bullcrap... I don't give a fuck if innocent people die, 'cause most of the people there are brainwashed to believe all the bullshit they've been fed by their government. And when we were in war, a lot of innocent people died. Innocent people have died ever since the dawn of people and will continue to die.. Disabling their army isn't good enough, because their children will grow up and build new armies, they have to be controlled by someone who can respect their culture, but still keep them in leash. I usually don't appreciate the US and its fellows, but I wish that they'd do something. And not just them, I hope that France (like those pussies ever got the balls to do anything), Russia and China would go there too.
Now, I'm not trying to lift Iran-opposing thoughts, everyone has or doesn't have an opinion - this is mine. I'm only concerned about the planet. Everyone has seen what damage nukes can do and I don't want that to happen to my favorite planet - the only one we can live on, if some of you have forgotten..
Everyone - including myself - are so greedy.. It's all about the money, money, land, and lemmethink - money..
I'd like the humankind to destroy itself - but without doing any harm for the other living things here. Nukes will destroy all life, so that's not the thing - but I still keep hoping for AIDS and the avian influenza to do the trick. Or ebola.. or the third global ice age..
Saturday
The Dead Uncle
My uncle died two days ago.
He drowned.
Again, a wrong person died, I wish it'd hit someone else than him.
He hadn't called for 14 years and was one among the many who believed all the bullshit my mother fed them..
I don't feel sorry. He and his wife never stood up for me, never offered comfort, nothing. Why would I give a bull.. and the best part is that my sister who received the same zero as me, lost her marbles when she heard, called me crying and all shit.
Does this mean I'm emotionless OR is about me not caring a bull about the people who didn't care about me?
I lost an uncle and somehow I can't make myself care.
All I want is to inherit some money.
He drowned.
Again, a wrong person died, I wish it'd hit someone else than him.
He hadn't called for 14 years and was one among the many who believed all the bullshit my mother fed them..
I don't feel sorry. He and his wife never stood up for me, never offered comfort, nothing. Why would I give a bull.. and the best part is that my sister who received the same zero as me, lost her marbles when she heard, called me crying and all shit.
Does this mean I'm emotionless OR is about me not caring a bull about the people who didn't care about me?
I lost an uncle and somehow I can't make myself care.
All I want is to inherit some money.
Thursday
Results
I've been testing myself at http://www.okcupid.com/ and various other locations...
According to some tests I'm 47% Nerd, 28% Geek and 2%Dork. How cute. I also found out that I will die on 13th December 2062 and that I'm 71% fuckable, 68% innocent, 68% dirty minded and like masculine, exotic men. On that I'd like to disagree, because most of the men I'm attracted to are normal-looking guys. A test suggested that I'd like Vin Diesel. EEEEW, double eeeew and .. eew. As most of you know, the ten guys I would shag without a thought:
Colin Farrel - He'd have to talk all the time, though - gotta love the accent.
Ewan McGregor - He's so cute. But he'd have to be clean-shaven and groomed.
John Light - but only if he wore a black long coat and had an evil look in his eyes
Jenson Button - Such a cutie - he's been my favorite since I was -like 16-
Viggo Mortensen - But he'd have to wear his LOTR outfit..
Leandro Faria - OH MY GOD..
Brent Van Zant - ... Is it hot in here?
Gary Dourdan - Those eyes..
Cillian Murphy - There's something really scary about him..
Gerard Butler - He'd have to speak all the time, too.. and never close his eyes..
According to some tests I'm 47% Nerd, 28% Geek and 2%Dork. How cute. I also found out that I will die on 13th December 2062 and that I'm 71% fuckable, 68% innocent, 68% dirty minded and like masculine, exotic men. On that I'd like to disagree, because most of the men I'm attracted to are normal-looking guys. A test suggested that I'd like Vin Diesel. EEEEW, double eeeew and .. eew. As most of you know, the ten guys I would shag without a thought:
Colin Farrel - He'd have to talk all the time, though - gotta love the accent.
Ewan McGregor - He's so cute. But he'd have to be clean-shaven and groomed.
John Light - but only if he wore a black long coat and had an evil look in his eyes
Jenson Button - Such a cutie - he's been my favorite since I was -like 16-
Viggo Mortensen - But he'd have to wear his LOTR outfit..
Leandro Faria - OH MY GOD..
Brent Van Zant - ... Is it hot in here?
Gary Dourdan - Those eyes..
Cillian Murphy - There's something really scary about him..
Gerard Butler - He'd have to speak all the time, too.. and never close his eyes..
Saturday
Wednesday
Sick
I've been sick for 15 days now.
It's like morning sickness, but the whole day.
I guess it's the bump in my tummy. The thing they found last December, the tumor but not tumor "I've never seen anything like this" -thing.
They'll take it out soon.
It's like morning sickness, but the whole day.
I guess it's the bump in my tummy. The thing they found last December, the tumor but not tumor "I've never seen anything like this" -thing.
They'll take it out soon.
Tuesday
One Of These Days Again
I normally don't listen to the radio. Yesterday I turned it on by accident and there it was.. I stopped there and couldn't understand why it had the effect on me. Nickelback, you did it again! Here's a confession for you, world: Nickelback is my weakness, despite of all the techno and house enthusiasm. It's only occasionally when a song can stop me right there and this one did it. I actually stayed up to - I don't know - four a.m. just to listen a few songs..
The tune of last night:
Nickelback - Far Away
Another song that stopped me a few weeks ago was a song that's originally (a Tears for Fears song) on the Donnie Brasco soundtrack, but I discovered it on the sixth-season episode "Room service" of CSI. I must have watched the opening scene where the song played at least two dozen times just to hear that song. I also saw the music video last night. Though the idea of the video is cute, the CSI opening scene would have made a better video. It was an excellent episode, by the way..
Ladies and Gentlemen, tune of the day:
Gary Jules - Mad World
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
The tune of last night:
Nickelback - Far Away
Another song that stopped me a few weeks ago was a song that's originally (a Tears for Fears song) on the Donnie Brasco soundtrack, but I discovered it on the sixth-season episode "Room service" of CSI. I must have watched the opening scene where the song played at least two dozen times just to hear that song. I also saw the music video last night. Though the idea of the video is cute, the CSI opening scene would have made a better video. It was an excellent episode, by the way..
Ladies and Gentlemen, tune of the day:
Gary Jules - Mad World
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
Monday
Flow
Today I decided that I want to go to Santorini. That's somewhere in the mediterranean sea - in Greece - I think. Why Santorini? Ever since I started thinking as a child and understood what it feels like when something takes "your breath away", I have loved four things above everything: sunsets, sea, thunder and volcanoes. You can get three of those in Santorini - and if lucky, thunder too. I saw a picture of white and putty houses with blue rooftops, bare ground... I think that's the place I ought to see once in my life. So, Santorini, you're calling me, but I can answer that call no sooner than after a few years of saving money and dieting. But I promise to myself I'll be there one day.
If there's someone who'd take me there, please give me a call. But you'd have to be at least 5ft9 and look like Ewan McGregor or Colin Farrel.
It's spring. Cold, but it's spring. And spring is showing it's pretty face under the snow. All the dog poop and litter. How nice.
Another thing that's in my mind is the fact that everyone around me seems to be more or less pregnant. I just see them everywhere - walking with their cute little bellies.. haha! Don't get me wrong! That doesn't do the trick for me. I'm not like "aaw", but more like "eew".. I hate it when they turn inwards and think that everyone else is as excited as they are. It's quite the opposite to me, I can't stand kids yelling everywhere, crying, demanding. You have kids and your life is ruined. And what a few pregnancies do to a woman! They lose their mind, their world becomes kids-centered and they go monsterous on their men. One pregnant friend of mine once said I'm being selfish when I don't want children and cannot join her happiness. I can't help it. I see children as a burden to their parents - so I'm pretty sure I will never have kids. There are many reasons but I think the real reason is I that believe I will become the same as my mother. I believe I could never hit or hurt anything that is a part of me, but I can't be sure. My sister is doing well and has passed her genes (and my genes as well) forward. Maybe that's the way it ought to be. And besides, here I am, 25 and not a single marriage proposal. My time will soon be over - because who would have kids when over 30, one would be too old to understand them as they grow up. I have so many plans, so many things to do before I'm too old and the "kids" thing isn't even on that list right now. I wish I'd grow up and want a suburb house, SUV and four kids.
I applied to medschool this spring.
Wishful thinking, I can hardly manage division.
If there's someone who'd take me there, please give me a call. But you'd have to be at least 5ft9 and look like Ewan McGregor or Colin Farrel.
It's spring. Cold, but it's spring. And spring is showing it's pretty face under the snow. All the dog poop and litter. How nice.
Another thing that's in my mind is the fact that everyone around me seems to be more or less pregnant. I just see them everywhere - walking with their cute little bellies.. haha! Don't get me wrong! That doesn't do the trick for me. I'm not like "aaw", but more like "eew".. I hate it when they turn inwards and think that everyone else is as excited as they are. It's quite the opposite to me, I can't stand kids yelling everywhere, crying, demanding. You have kids and your life is ruined. And what a few pregnancies do to a woman! They lose their mind, their world becomes kids-centered and they go monsterous on their men. One pregnant friend of mine once said I'm being selfish when I don't want children and cannot join her happiness. I can't help it. I see children as a burden to their parents - so I'm pretty sure I will never have kids. There are many reasons but I think the real reason is I that believe I will become the same as my mother. I believe I could never hit or hurt anything that is a part of me, but I can't be sure. My sister is doing well and has passed her genes (and my genes as well) forward. Maybe that's the way it ought to be. And besides, here I am, 25 and not a single marriage proposal. My time will soon be over - because who would have kids when over 30, one would be too old to understand them as they grow up. I have so many plans, so many things to do before I'm too old and the "kids" thing isn't even on that list right now. I wish I'd grow up and want a suburb house, SUV and four kids.
I applied to medschool this spring.
Wishful thinking, I can hardly manage division.
Wednesday
Parenting Advise... or a warning..
My mother,
whom (some of you might know being a violent and paranoid person) just kicked my 17-year-old kid sister from her house! And why was that? Before I answer that question I have to remind you that she has kids only because she gets more benefits. My older sister was practically a slave before she got a foster family, then it was my turn. I cleaned the whole house, handled the dishes, served her (really! breakfast in bed etc) but still managed to get good grades in school but I believe that's only because I'm somewhat witty. But not witty enough to understand that what I thought was me doing her favors because she was my mom was really her using me as a personal slave. And what has my mother done since I left? Well, she tried to handle things but when it came to the point she couldn't work anymore, she just stays the days at home and goes often drinking. And my kid sisters run the house. They seldom have money for anything teenagy and often my sister is the last one who gets the books for courses. It amazes me constantly that she can barely feed them, but can afford to go the local pub for a "relaxing moment". Relaxing from what?! SHE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING! Well, now the answer.. my sister decided not to let her use her like she did to me and the eldest sister. My mother, the woman who gave birth to her, kicked her out for being "unreasonable", "crazy", "behaving badly", "drinking", "not obeying" her and as before she has managed to let all the social workers and relatives think that's it's my fault. MY FAULT! That I have brainwashed my kid sisters to believe she is crazy and that I have managed to turn everyone against her. It's funny that I haven't even spoked to any of our mutual "friends" because they have taken all her bullshit as the truth. Nobody believes our "mother" kicked her out, but think she left by herself.
Now my kid sister tries to go through high school with only 65 dollars a month because she being so young prevents her from getting the same student allowance I get. She lives at her friends' place. A friend who has her own place her parents pay for her and if they get differences of opinion, the friend could kick her out. My sister a homeless - and she is not even 18! IN THIS COUNTRY! Here only alcoholics and drugaddicts are homeless.
She lives 550 kilometers north from where I am and wants to finish high school there and there's nothing I can say about that though I suggested she'd move here. She just spent a week here at my place and I gave her all the attention I could - even skipped school for three days. Before she left back today I bought her a big bag of groceries and gave her my last money to let her have at least some to use only for herself. I would have needed the money myself but I figured out that my new 300GB hard drive can wait unless J want's to pay it. I felt like crying when I saw that 5 foot kid get on the train carrying bags bigger than her body.
I also have never geen more grateful about J, than today as I figured out he allowed me to hand the money (we needed) to my sister...
Now there's only one of us living home with the bitch and I'm worried like hell. The youngest has always been the favorite child, but I'm worried that now the bitch has no one else to make miserable, she'll turn against her. But there's some light in darkness: I've never been happier to know that they get free meals at school. But I'm afraid that doesn't give them enough energy in a long run..
I wish, I wish I'd win in the lottery so I could get all of my sisters a decent place to live. I'm pretty happy the way things are now for me, but I'd like to fix their lives.
God, if you're there, please take this as a prayer. Fix their lives.
I hope the rest of the relatives would finally believe that our mother is sick, not us.
And now something totally different:
I love early spring when the sun starts to warm a bit and it makes the snow shine like billions of diamonds. March is my favorite month, but not this year... Why? Because I learned that the human body starts deteriorating in the age of 25. I'm going to be 25 in only 11 days.
whom (some of you might know being a violent and paranoid person) just kicked my 17-year-old kid sister from her house! And why was that? Before I answer that question I have to remind you that she has kids only because she gets more benefits. My older sister was practically a slave before she got a foster family, then it was my turn. I cleaned the whole house, handled the dishes, served her (really! breakfast in bed etc) but still managed to get good grades in school but I believe that's only because I'm somewhat witty. But not witty enough to understand that what I thought was me doing her favors because she was my mom was really her using me as a personal slave. And what has my mother done since I left? Well, she tried to handle things but when it came to the point she couldn't work anymore, she just stays the days at home and goes often drinking. And my kid sisters run the house. They seldom have money for anything teenagy and often my sister is the last one who gets the books for courses. It amazes me constantly that she can barely feed them, but can afford to go the local pub for a "relaxing moment". Relaxing from what?! SHE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING! Well, now the answer.. my sister decided not to let her use her like she did to me and the eldest sister. My mother, the woman who gave birth to her, kicked her out for being "unreasonable", "crazy", "behaving badly", "drinking", "not obeying" her and as before she has managed to let all the social workers and relatives think that's it's my fault. MY FAULT! That I have brainwashed my kid sisters to believe she is crazy and that I have managed to turn everyone against her. It's funny that I haven't even spoked to any of our mutual "friends" because they have taken all her bullshit as the truth. Nobody believes our "mother" kicked her out, but think she left by herself.
Now my kid sister tries to go through high school with only 65 dollars a month because she being so young prevents her from getting the same student allowance I get. She lives at her friends' place. A friend who has her own place her parents pay for her and if they get differences of opinion, the friend could kick her out. My sister a homeless - and she is not even 18! IN THIS COUNTRY! Here only alcoholics and drugaddicts are homeless.
She lives 550 kilometers north from where I am and wants to finish high school there and there's nothing I can say about that though I suggested she'd move here. She just spent a week here at my place and I gave her all the attention I could - even skipped school for three days. Before she left back today I bought her a big bag of groceries and gave her my last money to let her have at least some to use only for herself. I would have needed the money myself but I figured out that my new 300GB hard drive can wait unless J want's to pay it. I felt like crying when I saw that 5 foot kid get on the train carrying bags bigger than her body.
I also have never geen more grateful about J, than today as I figured out he allowed me to hand the money (we needed) to my sister...
Now there's only one of us living home with the bitch and I'm worried like hell. The youngest has always been the favorite child, but I'm worried that now the bitch has no one else to make miserable, she'll turn against her. But there's some light in darkness: I've never been happier to know that they get free meals at school. But I'm afraid that doesn't give them enough energy in a long run..
I wish, I wish I'd win in the lottery so I could get all of my sisters a decent place to live. I'm pretty happy the way things are now for me, but I'd like to fix their lives.
God, if you're there, please take this as a prayer. Fix their lives.
I hope the rest of the relatives would finally believe that our mother is sick, not us.
And now something totally different:
I love early spring when the sun starts to warm a bit and it makes the snow shine like billions of diamonds. March is my favorite month, but not this year... Why? Because I learned that the human body starts deteriorating in the age of 25. I'm going to be 25 in only 11 days.
Monday
A little confession...
I have to say that there was one thing about the new version of the movie Pride and Prejudice I liked. It was just a moment when Lizzie and Mr. Darcy are fighting in the rain - when Darcy is actually trying to propose and Lizzie lets him know what kind of a man she thinks he is. The moment is almost about to end to a kiss but I guess in those times kissing wasn't supposed to happen until the permission from the church.. But the fact that the kiss doesn't happen is the thing that makes me like that scene. I wish that whoever-she-is wasn't Lizzie, because I liked the BBC version Lizzie more and this one has weird, too big eyes and a jawline I've never seen on a woman. She's weird.
There is one other movie that has the same kind of effect. The almost-kiss happens also in Identity. I guess I like the tension in those moments and find myself happier when nothing happens and lets the imagination run the rest of the story.
Those things help me sleep.
Unlike the fact that I played Natural Selection for the whole weekend, more than 10 hours a day. I hunted aliens in my dreams.
That's the reason I didn't make it to school in time.
There is one other movie that has the same kind of effect. The almost-kiss happens also in Identity. I guess I like the tension in those moments and find myself happier when nothing happens and lets the imagination run the rest of the story.
Those things help me sleep.
Unlike the fact that I played Natural Selection for the whole weekend, more than 10 hours a day. I hunted aliens in my dreams.
That's the reason I didn't make it to school in time.
Tuesday
Valentine's
The day so far (It's noonish):
Messages from friends: 1
Cards from friends: 0
Phone calls from friends: 1
Phone calls from family: 0
Good news: 1
Bills: 0
Mail advertisements: 1
Valentine's gifts: 1 known, 0 received
E-mails from friends sending Valentine's: 0
E-mails from friends wanting something: 1
Yeah. Happy Valentine's.
Messages from friends: 1
Cards from friends: 0
Phone calls from friends: 1
Phone calls from family: 0
Good news: 1
Bills: 0
Mail advertisements: 1
Valentine's gifts: 1 known, 0 received
E-mails from friends sending Valentine's: 0
E-mails from friends wanting something: 1
Yeah. Happy Valentine's.
Monday
Getting Lazy
This following text is a product of my thoughts and do NOT represent the thoughts of the people in my country nor its government:
I've come to the conclusion that the better my life goes the less I whine here which means I "blog" only sometimes.
There are three things in the world today.. three little things that piss me off:
1. The "lost world" they recently discovered somewhere in Indonesia. I bet than in six months the place is ruined by the rich people who want different kinds of house plants or unique pets. And dear reader, money gets you anywhere. It's beautiful, untouched, unpopulated forest; there's no evidence of human impact. There are no trails up there, but I bet in a year you'd find a "decent" road. The worst part of this otherwise happy event is that some of the creatures the team came into contact with were unafraid of humans. The team says it did not have time to survey the area completely and they intend to return later in the year. They also say it's within a protected zone. Bah, I say! I wish that place had never been found. It kills me to see the state this poor little ball of ours is heading to.
2. The offensive pictures that have hurt the muslim people. Geez, those were not even bad! I've seen worse! Most of the people who thought of it as an offense were people who are VISITORS in that (and the "western") countr(y)(ies). What gives them the right to cause trouble? Besides, they do much more damage that a few pictures that aren't even funny (nor offensive). I'm not a religious person so I don't understand the fuzz. I wish they'd make nuclear weapons and blow themselves in the air (no.. wait.. they don't even need nuclear bombs for that..) I believe that the less people being able to make a fuzz about little things. They say that their religion is the only pure one. What religion lets people kill other people! And I'm not talking only about islam. And yes, without being a racist or anything close to that I'll state my opinion and it is that THEY are the troublemakers. I'm sorry to not to be brainwashed by any religious bullshit, but that's really my opinion. It's funny that a fable (and religions are fables that we have learned) can do so much trouble. I was raised christian, but I've somehow ended up with the thought that religion itself is the deepest evil humans have produced. Look what the people before us have done when "God" or "Allah" has told them to do something "for the greater good". Where the hell did they drop all the values of human life? When did that happen? Why do we "need" religions?
Don't you friggin' stupid people understand that there's no life after death, no ghosts, no soul. We are just hairless monkeys and we die and rot the same as all the other animals. There's nothing else to it. You just rot. There is no heaven or hell, no place for the good nor the bad. Nothing. When you die, that's just it. Get over your stupid prophecies about the judgement day and the rest of the bullshit you've been fed with all your life!
3. The Avian Influenza. I'm sorry to be so harsh on some unfortunate people (because yes, I do consider myself fortunate for living in a country with decent medical services), but I'd be glad it it killed at least half a billion people around the world. Actually the world would be a rather happy place if the influenza would manage to kill TWO billion in the areas the birth rate is at the highest. Why do they make children when they obviously can't feed them? I'd like to have kids one day, but I won't be makin' them as long as I can't afford to feed them. All these countries depend on international help but won't do anything to help themselves. Just whine. And make more kids (to secure their elder life). HA! Charity and helping are good things but some of the countries (like mine) are in trouble themselves. I'd say let's help ourselves first and then help the others. Think about the diseases that ran on this planet before - or the wars. . Imagine the amount of people the millions of people (who died) would have produced if nature didn't give a little helping hand or someone else... And the amount they'd produce.. and so on and so forth. Do a little math.. And remember to thank the Chinese people who finally understood the damage overpopulation would do to their country and the people, not forgetting about the economy. Now they are really smart people.
By the way - how can it be that the people in Africa, where human life is supposed to be originated - are starving when there has been life and learning human beings for much longer than up here? I just don't understand how it can be possible - the fact that our little country that has had life for a couple of thousand years is doing better than the ones that have had life for 30 000? What makes us so different? Is it something similar to the difference between the Neanderthals and Cro Magnon? I'm not mentioning this to state that the "white" people are smarter. Not at all! I guess smartness has nothing to do with the color of your skin but the chances you get..
I just have a lot of (stupid) questions and thoughts and can't find the answer.
Don't get me wrong, I value all life on Earth despite the different looks and different kind of brainwashing people have received in their early years. I'm just terribly worried. Mostly about the planet itself. I hope that the avian influenza would be the solution of overpopulation - the main cause for all the trouble we're going to be in a few years.
And remember, dear reader, these thoughts are mine and are a result of one kind of a brainwashing. So don't do as SOME have done about a few stupid pictures, eh?
I've come to the conclusion that the better my life goes the less I whine here which means I "blog" only sometimes.
There are three things in the world today.. three little things that piss me off:
1. The "lost world" they recently discovered somewhere in Indonesia. I bet than in six months the place is ruined by the rich people who want different kinds of house plants or unique pets. And dear reader, money gets you anywhere. It's beautiful, untouched, unpopulated forest; there's no evidence of human impact. There are no trails up there, but I bet in a year you'd find a "decent" road. The worst part of this otherwise happy event is that some of the creatures the team came into contact with were unafraid of humans. The team says it did not have time to survey the area completely and they intend to return later in the year. They also say it's within a protected zone. Bah, I say! I wish that place had never been found. It kills me to see the state this poor little ball of ours is heading to.
2. The offensive pictures that have hurt the muslim people. Geez, those were not even bad! I've seen worse! Most of the people who thought of it as an offense were people who are VISITORS in that (and the "western") countr(y)(ies). What gives them the right to cause trouble? Besides, they do much more damage that a few pictures that aren't even funny (nor offensive). I'm not a religious person so I don't understand the fuzz. I wish they'd make nuclear weapons and blow themselves in the air (no.. wait.. they don't even need nuclear bombs for that..) I believe that the less people being able to make a fuzz about little things. They say that their religion is the only pure one. What religion lets people kill other people! And I'm not talking only about islam. And yes, without being a racist or anything close to that I'll state my opinion and it is that THEY are the troublemakers. I'm sorry to not to be brainwashed by any religious bullshit, but that's really my opinion. It's funny that a fable (and religions are fables that we have learned) can do so much trouble. I was raised christian, but I've somehow ended up with the thought that religion itself is the deepest evil humans have produced. Look what the people before us have done when "God" or "Allah" has told them to do something "for the greater good". Where the hell did they drop all the values of human life? When did that happen? Why do we "need" religions?
Don't you friggin' stupid people understand that there's no life after death, no ghosts, no soul. We are just hairless monkeys and we die and rot the same as all the other animals. There's nothing else to it. You just rot. There is no heaven or hell, no place for the good nor the bad. Nothing. When you die, that's just it. Get over your stupid prophecies about the judgement day and the rest of the bullshit you've been fed with all your life!
3. The Avian Influenza. I'm sorry to be so harsh on some unfortunate people (because yes, I do consider myself fortunate for living in a country with decent medical services), but I'd be glad it it killed at least half a billion people around the world. Actually the world would be a rather happy place if the influenza would manage to kill TWO billion in the areas the birth rate is at the highest. Why do they make children when they obviously can't feed them? I'd like to have kids one day, but I won't be makin' them as long as I can't afford to feed them. All these countries depend on international help but won't do anything to help themselves. Just whine. And make more kids (to secure their elder life). HA! Charity and helping are good things but some of the countries (like mine) are in trouble themselves. I'd say let's help ourselves first and then help the others. Think about the diseases that ran on this planet before - or the wars. . Imagine the amount of people the millions of people (who died) would have produced if nature didn't give a little helping hand or someone else... And the amount they'd produce.. and so on and so forth. Do a little math.. And remember to thank the Chinese people who finally understood the damage overpopulation would do to their country and the people, not forgetting about the economy. Now they are really smart people.
By the way - how can it be that the people in Africa, where human life is supposed to be originated - are starving when there has been life and learning human beings for much longer than up here? I just don't understand how it can be possible - the fact that our little country that has had life for a couple of thousand years is doing better than the ones that have had life for 30 000? What makes us so different? Is it something similar to the difference between the Neanderthals and Cro Magnon? I'm not mentioning this to state that the "white" people are smarter. Not at all! I guess smartness has nothing to do with the color of your skin but the chances you get..
I just have a lot of (stupid) questions and thoughts and can't find the answer.
Don't get me wrong, I value all life on Earth despite the different looks and different kind of brainwashing people have received in their early years. I'm just terribly worried. Mostly about the planet itself. I hope that the avian influenza would be the solution of overpopulation - the main cause for all the trouble we're going to be in a few years.
And remember, dear reader, these thoughts are mine and are a result of one kind of a brainwashing. So don't do as SOME have done about a few stupid pictures, eh?
Thursday
Walking in the air..
I had a strange dream just a few hours ago.
J was hospitalized after a very bad accident and I was crying my eyes out when the guy who was first there on the accident site came to my door and brought tons of food and decided to keep me company. We were talking and eating when I received a SMS which said, "I'm sorry, he's in an autopsy". That made my burst in tears and suddenly there was this music, from the snowman cartoon, walking in the air. I started singing along (and I sung well - that's the comedy in my dreams). I sung so loud that the people in morgue could hear it and someone said: "She's hoping peace for this poor guy" and the word "peace" started echoing and J woke up in terrible pain. In pain but alive. I woke up still singing in my mind, turning to the windon just to notice the almost full moon shining.
Another dream last night might be another strange one, as I accidentaly kissed one trusted friend of mine. I noticed something in his air, something that told me I was going to be kissed and I decided to respond that one time. My luck, though, made him kiss me on the cheek. A small piece of comedy again, eh? I remember once reading that kissing someone in one's dreams would mean deep friendship in the real life. We are friends, I know, but I feel him drifting away. Maybe that's a long kiss goodbye?
I woke up four hours before I should have. That sucks.
Tune of the moment:
Howard Blake - Walking in the Air
J was hospitalized after a very bad accident and I was crying my eyes out when the guy who was first there on the accident site came to my door and brought tons of food and decided to keep me company. We were talking and eating when I received a SMS which said, "I'm sorry, he's in an autopsy". That made my burst in tears and suddenly there was this music, from the snowman cartoon, walking in the air. I started singing along (and I sung well - that's the comedy in my dreams). I sung so loud that the people in morgue could hear it and someone said: "She's hoping peace for this poor guy" and the word "peace" started echoing and J woke up in terrible pain. In pain but alive. I woke up still singing in my mind, turning to the windon just to notice the almost full moon shining.
Another dream last night might be another strange one, as I accidentaly kissed one trusted friend of mine. I noticed something in his air, something that told me I was going to be kissed and I decided to respond that one time. My luck, though, made him kiss me on the cheek. A small piece of comedy again, eh? I remember once reading that kissing someone in one's dreams would mean deep friendship in the real life. We are friends, I know, but I feel him drifting away. Maybe that's a long kiss goodbye?
I woke up four hours before I should have. That sucks.
Tune of the moment:
Howard Blake - Walking in the Air
Saturday
A Dream
I might have mentioned several times how my dreams effect my daily life. I might see something coming or understand someone elses' feelings in my dreams. Last night I had a dream that made me so happy I actually woke up in tears. Tears of happiness, though. I can't tell all that dream was about, but I was getting married and decided to go for someone else than the one that I was about to walk the aisle to. I ran through the church and saw one of God's angels sitting there in the back room. He said nothing, but I sensed his approval as I kept on running. I know there's no meaning in this dream - I usually know if it means something, but it just made me happy - the fact that it told me I can choose - and whatever I choose, it is the right answer.
This day might end up being very good indeed.
This day might end up being very good indeed.
Wednesday
Getting Old
I realized today that in 2006 I'll be 25. Imagine that. I still feel like 16 and look 18 - according to some of my friends. I'll have 25 more years to be called "old" and 25 after that to be dead. That's horrible! I don't want to get old, I don't want to die, but hey, what can one do? Except wait. It would me fun to be able to know the day you're going to day. I want to die 13th December 2061. That would be a nice day to die. Remember that, dear fate!
One friend of mine turned 28 today. His age reminded me of the fact I haven't done anything that matters. No children, no job, nothing. Does it mean I'm nothing too? I wish that someone could show me what would have happened if I was never born. Like the spirits showed Mr. Scrooge (or who the hell he was). Like in the movie Butterfly Effect - in which Ashton Kutchers' character decides to die in the womb after never succeeding to make other people's lifes better. I guess this wasn't in the screened version and only the ones who bought the DVD had the chance for the alternate ending.
Well, enough talk about death and misery.
I'm happy today. I feel kinda good. I might have mentioned this before, but I can't stop being amazed at the fact that just by seeing someone really, really good looking might save one's day. Like today. I was cold, my feet were wet and I was tired after 25 minute walk to school, but then this one dude - who I find drop dead gorgeous - walked by me at the hallway, saw me, sat on the opposite couch and started talking. It's funny that he makes me nervous. Nervous in that good way. And he makes me go back to the teenagy-blushing-stupid smiling -thing. I'm glad he has a girlfriend - I might have a crush on otherwise.
Today's tune is one I found recently on one of my friends' CDs. The lyrics aren't really the thing - despite of the "happy" thoughts of the lyrics, I find the melody very sad and the way she sings.. it's not a way someone sends her love to to someone who's still here.
Ayumi Hamasaki - Heaven
One friend of mine turned 28 today. His age reminded me of the fact I haven't done anything that matters. No children, no job, nothing. Does it mean I'm nothing too? I wish that someone could show me what would have happened if I was never born. Like the spirits showed Mr. Scrooge (or who the hell he was). Like in the movie Butterfly Effect - in which Ashton Kutchers' character decides to die in the womb after never succeeding to make other people's lifes better. I guess this wasn't in the screened version and only the ones who bought the DVD had the chance for the alternate ending.
Well, enough talk about death and misery.
I'm happy today. I feel kinda good. I might have mentioned this before, but I can't stop being amazed at the fact that just by seeing someone really, really good looking might save one's day. Like today. I was cold, my feet were wet and I was tired after 25 minute walk to school, but then this one dude - who I find drop dead gorgeous - walked by me at the hallway, saw me, sat on the opposite couch and started talking. It's funny that he makes me nervous. Nervous in that good way. And he makes me go back to the teenagy-blushing-stupid smiling -thing. I'm glad he has a girlfriend - I might have a crush on otherwise.
Today's tune is one I found recently on one of my friends' CDs. The lyrics aren't really the thing - despite of the "happy" thoughts of the lyrics, I find the melody very sad and the way she sings.. it's not a way someone sends her love to to someone who's still here.
Ayumi Hamasaki - Heaven
Monday
Long time...
It seems to be forever since the last time I felt like saying anything to anyone.
Most of my problems are either long gone or getting smaller. The thing in my tummy wasn't anything dangerous and it's easily removable. But I'm gonna have to get that thing removed soon. Daily headaches, difficulties of breathing, tummy aches, they seem to have disappeared. I'm very happy about that.
The only problem is J, whom I still don't trust. He repeated the internet-dating stuff again, this time with pictures and all. I hated him for that and I still think I do hate him just a little bit. But we're coping. But I'm still being paranoid and - silly - revengeful. I often find myself thinking that if I did that too would it make it easier for me to cope with all J has done to me?
But, I'm still ugly and fat and no one would even look at me.
I have to confess that I kind of miss the first kiss thing - as I have explained before.
One learns to live without some things, though.
... and sometimes sweet memories are greater than new experiences - as I learned a couple of days ago having another bagel in the local deli.
Sadly, one of my teachers passed away on christmas day - he was in his middle fourties and one of my favorites for his funny way of speech. His death made me think I have to take better care of myself. People in this country are more afraid of cancer than the real killer, cardiovascular diseases which apparently were the cause of his death. To avoid early death I'll really have to start thinking of me instead of others. After all we only get one life and it would be silly to waste half of it by dying too soon, eh?
Every day I see stressed people around me and some of them I care about. I'd hate to see them going down.
There are a few people I'd like to get rid of, though. With no regrets.
Most of my problems are either long gone or getting smaller. The thing in my tummy wasn't anything dangerous and it's easily removable. But I'm gonna have to get that thing removed soon. Daily headaches, difficulties of breathing, tummy aches, they seem to have disappeared. I'm very happy about that.
The only problem is J, whom I still don't trust. He repeated the internet-dating stuff again, this time with pictures and all. I hated him for that and I still think I do hate him just a little bit. But we're coping. But I'm still being paranoid and - silly - revengeful. I often find myself thinking that if I did that too would it make it easier for me to cope with all J has done to me?
But, I'm still ugly and fat and no one would even look at me.
I have to confess that I kind of miss the first kiss thing - as I have explained before.
One learns to live without some things, though.
... and sometimes sweet memories are greater than new experiences - as I learned a couple of days ago having another bagel in the local deli.
Sadly, one of my teachers passed away on christmas day - he was in his middle fourties and one of my favorites for his funny way of speech. His death made me think I have to take better care of myself. People in this country are more afraid of cancer than the real killer, cardiovascular diseases which apparently were the cause of his death. To avoid early death I'll really have to start thinking of me instead of others. After all we only get one life and it would be silly to waste half of it by dying too soon, eh?
Every day I see stressed people around me and some of them I care about. I'd hate to see them going down.
There are a few people I'd like to get rid of, though. With no regrets.
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