After J,
I was so happy to have met another J.
He made me feel so alive, so loved, so.. everything. But it was nothing but a hoax. I am now a victim of a mass dater, a charlatan... He was in it for the sex only, which was, by the way, amazing, mind blowing... I have had sex since I was sixteen, but with this guy, it was the first time of making love. But he is a guy who values his friends over relationships, works like hell... I was about to fall in love with him, I liked so many things about him, but realizing there wasn't going to be anything else.. well, it had to stop. I'm still wishing he'd call me, but yesterday we saw each other and he didn't even greet me.
Then there was someone else. E. I went out on a date with him, but nothing came out of it. Except that he sent me beautiful songs... and he's beautiful. He's a geek, just like me, but drop dead gorgeous. Yesterday I asked him out, and he wouldn't go, so I decided I won't be played with again and I told him not to contact me again. I have regretted it ever since I did it, but at least I can congratulate myself for not letting myself be fooled again.
But now I'm alone. Really alone.