Showing posts with label Blah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blah. Show all posts
Thursday
I Hate Myself And I Want To Die
Actually, I don't.
I'm still fat, but otherwise, I kind of like myself. I like the way my thoughts come and go. I like my voice. I have brown eyes, but mostly when I want them to go away, I use opaque contact lenses. I like my upper lip. I like the way I'm prejudical. I like the part in me that's racist. I think I like me.
The only thing I would really, really want to change is my history. But I heard that a heart medicine might erase bad memories. So, I'll just wait for the beta blockers to come to aid.
Oh and I'd also like to be shitload rich. :)
I'm still fat, but otherwise, I kind of like myself. I like the way my thoughts come and go. I like my voice. I have brown eyes, but mostly when I want them to go away, I use opaque contact lenses. I like my upper lip. I like the way I'm prejudical. I like the part in me that's racist. I think I like me.
The only thing I would really, really want to change is my history. But I heard that a heart medicine might erase bad memories. So, I'll just wait for the beta blockers to come to aid.
Oh and I'd also like to be shitload rich. :)
Wednesday
Sims 3 Will Be Delayed!
So,
Sims 3 won't come out until JUNE! JUNE, people! This delay better produce a 100% bug free, enjoyable game for that shitty price.
I don't mind delay, I'm still waiting for Blackmesa, but knowing that EA will only produce a half-made, bug-infested game pisses me off! And I'm still stupid enough to go buy it.
This sucks.
Sims 3 won't come out until JUNE! JUNE, people! This delay better produce a 100% bug free, enjoyable game for that shitty price.
I don't mind delay, I'm still waiting for Blackmesa, but knowing that EA will only produce a half-made, bug-infested game pisses me off! And I'm still stupid enough to go buy it.
This sucks.
Tuesday
A Little Something From The Past & Comets
The comet Lulin is visible for a couple of weeks. I haven't seen it yet, because it "rises" above the horizon very early in the morning. I have a good telescope and I haven't been able to use it for quite some time now, because most of the time the weather sucks.
My Ex spoke to me on MSN today. I removed him from my friend contacts ages ago cause I thought it would be annoying to J and my ex's wife if we talked to each other. But today I figured it is totally okay and added him to friends again. We don't have feelings for each other anymore. We broke up for a reason back then and we live 600 kilometers apart, so what harm could it do to anyone?
I still love him, when he comes to my mind once or twice a year, but not in that relationship-love -manner. It's like the love you feel for something good that happened, the good memories and feelings remembered. I love all my exes, the good bits in them. But I would never want to have a relationship with them again. I know what was M's biggest fault and I bet he found a great deal in me. Being awfully jeallous isn't the smallest, I bet.
The only relationship I regret were the two I didn't have. One because I didn't want to break up with M and one because this guy was too good a friend to lose. The friend has long been gone, so no harm would have been done anyway.
Regrets, one thing the humans could do without.
My Ex spoke to me on MSN today. I removed him from my friend contacts ages ago cause I thought it would be annoying to J and my ex's wife if we talked to each other. But today I figured it is totally okay and added him to friends again. We don't have feelings for each other anymore. We broke up for a reason back then and we live 600 kilometers apart, so what harm could it do to anyone?
I still love him, when he comes to my mind once or twice a year, but not in that relationship-love -manner. It's like the love you feel for something good that happened, the good memories and feelings remembered. I love all my exes, the good bits in them. But I would never want to have a relationship with them again. I know what was M's biggest fault and I bet he found a great deal in me. Being awfully jeallous isn't the smallest, I bet.
The only relationship I regret were the two I didn't have. One because I didn't want to break up with M and one because this guy was too good a friend to lose. The friend has long been gone, so no harm would have been done anyway.
Regrets, one thing the humans could do without.
Save A Tree
Please leave your Christmas trees to the forests. Earth needs all the trees and your few days having a "real" tree doesn't make it any better.
Buy a eco friendly "plastic" lookalike tree and feel better for at least trying to make a difference.
I have had the same "plastic" tree for ten years and it still looks rather nice.
SAVE A TREE, don't buy/cut real ones!
Buy a eco friendly "plastic" lookalike tree and feel better for at least trying to make a difference.
I have had the same "plastic" tree for ten years and it still looks rather nice.
SAVE A TREE, don't buy/cut real ones!
Thursday
I Wish I'd Live To The Day..
I wish I'd live to the day when recording one's dreams would be possible. A Japanese group of neuroscientits or a group of nerds anyhow have gone one step closer to recording dreams: they have succeeded in recording random images shown to the person prior to the tests.
Monday
A Nice Weekend
I visited my friend L this weekend. We had a bit of girly fun, like farting and playing Wii (yeah, I dragged ours to her place). I love the town she lives in. They've left some of the buildings from 19th and 20th century unlike in my home town, where they've torn down almost everyting older than 1930 and built ugly concrete projects. Her town is not much bigger than this, but it seems like a bigger place. And how polite the people are. The cashiers actually can talk and they are helpful too. Unlike here. I was on good mood the whole weekend despite the high blood pressure that was diagnosed as a migraine, anemia, bi-polar disorder or panic disorder is still quite high. It annoys my to feel and hear my heart beat.
A good weekend ended with a nice dream. I forgot most of it almost instantly, but there was this guy with blonde curly hair, who followed me at a book fair. I noticed him staring, but he didn't turn his eyes away. As I walked away, he followed. I was not bothered. After finding a book about a color (I don't remember what color, maybe it was cirulean blue, but blueish anyway), I read a paragraph. There was a name, which I don't remember. The writer sounded something like Alexander Dumas. While I was reading, he came to me and started talking, like we've known for ages. He started talking about this study. It was about relationships, how people have grown too careful and getting married after nine years is too late, that relationships grow boring if they don't move fast enough. He finished his pedantic talk and then said: I want to be married in ten months. It was, like, he was giving an order rather than just stating something. I blushed. I said: "I'm with someone." He shrugged and said: "No, I didn't mean it like that. We can be, sort of, like friends and not risk your relationship, but we can change the status if you ever feel like it. Now this guy was cute and all, but all I could think about was J, how much he has done for me in good and bad and decided I'd rather be with one I know than possibly go tumbling down. Then he started to appear everywhere and I was soon intrigued and I figured he was too. In the end, I fell in love with him and the rest of the dream is X-rated, but it left me a good feeling.
This dream was apparently effected by Twilight, which I didn't like. It held somewhere inside me, I think, because the whole stare-at-me-follow-stuff was straight from that movie.
A good weekend ended with a nice dream. I forgot most of it almost instantly, but there was this guy with blonde curly hair, who followed me at a book fair. I noticed him staring, but he didn't turn his eyes away. As I walked away, he followed. I was not bothered. After finding a book about a color (I don't remember what color, maybe it was cirulean blue, but blueish anyway), I read a paragraph. There was a name, which I don't remember. The writer sounded something like Alexander Dumas. While I was reading, he came to me and started talking, like we've known for ages. He started talking about this study. It was about relationships, how people have grown too careful and getting married after nine years is too late, that relationships grow boring if they don't move fast enough. He finished his pedantic talk and then said: I want to be married in ten months. It was, like, he was giving an order rather than just stating something. I blushed. I said: "I'm with someone." He shrugged and said: "No, I didn't mean it like that. We can be, sort of, like friends and not risk your relationship, but we can change the status if you ever feel like it. Now this guy was cute and all, but all I could think about was J, how much he has done for me in good and bad and decided I'd rather be with one I know than possibly go tumbling down. Then he started to appear everywhere and I was soon intrigued and I figured he was too. In the end, I fell in love with him and the rest of the dream is X-rated, but it left me a good feeling.
This dream was apparently effected by Twilight, which I didn't like. It held somewhere inside me, I think, because the whole stare-at-me-follow-stuff was straight from that movie.
Thursday
What Men & Women Say And What They Mean
What men say and what they mean?
1. My mom is the most important thing in my life
I'm gay but not willing to come out yet
2. I haven't found the right woman yet
I'm gay but not willing to come out yet. Or I'm a dick who beats his women or demands too much or is just a regular dick.
3. There's only one woman for me and I haven't found her yet
I have commitment issues. Or: I'm gay and not willing to come out yet
4. I'm happy with her, she completes me as a person
She sleeps with me, doesn't fart in front of me and always wears make-up
5. We don't need to get married
Cause I'm afraid of divorce, custody battle and losing
6. I like you
I'd like to have sex with you
7. I think I love you
This will definitely get me between your legs
8. It's not you, it's me.
It's me. I want to keep on bed-hopping in hopes of finding someone more skinnier, prettier and richer than you.
9. I love you
I love you. Or at least I think I do. At least for now. This is not, like, forever.
10. We're through
We're through. Don't start crying, it's no use. You have no use to me.
11. Should we forget all others and start seeing only each other?
You're going to forget all others and be mine. I'm going to keep a reserve.
12. Will you marry me?
Shit, should have asked about the prenup first.
13. You're pregnant? Really? Wow, I mean, wow.
Fuck. Shit. No, no, no. How could you do this to me?
14. I'm not ready to be a father
I don't want kids! They smell, are noisy and cost money!
15. I don't want this baby, but I want you
You better have an abortion
16. You'll be a great mom, I'm sure!
But I won't be here seeing that
17. Want to move in together?
I need someone to share the rent and since I already sleep with you, wouldn't mind. I hope you're into cleaning.
18. I'm sure my mom will like you!
You better look sweet and innocent or she'll eat you alive
19. Don't worry, at least my dad will like you!
He'll like anything with boobs and blonde hair...
20. How many boyfriends have you had?
You better lie.
_____________________________________________________-
What women say and what they mean?
1. My dad is the most important thing in my life
I haven't had a real boyfriend yet.
2. I haven't found the right man yet
I can't trust anyone, really.
3. There's only one man for me and I haven't found him yet
I have too high standards. Actually, you'd look great with black hair.
4. I'm happy with him, he completes me as a person
I can fart, burb and yawn in front of him and don't need to prented I like ice hockey.
5. We don't need to get married
At least not this year
6. I like you
I love you, but can't say it yet or you might get scared and run away
7. I think I love you
Don't flip out, don't flip out, don't flip...
8. It's not you, it's me.
It's you. You don't shower, you're not giving me enough attention and your wallet is not as fat as I thought it was.
9. I love you
I love you. Will you marry me and give me four, no three children?
10. We're through
I'm testing you. If you say "ok", we're through, but if you're willing to fight, I might take you back.
11. Should we forget all others and start seeing only each other?
You're going to erase all female contacts from you phone and never talk to another woman again! I'll keep Dave and Mark, they are my exes, but they are my friends.
12. Will you marry me?
Why the hell do I have to be the one to ask?
13. I'm pregnant.
You better at least act happy.
14. I'm not ready to be a mother
I am, really, but I'm testing you.
15. I don't want this baby, but I want you
I'm not ready to be a mother. I'd rather have you.
16. You'll be a great dad, I'm sure!
At least your wallet will be.
17. Want to move in together?
I can keep a better eye on you if we live together.
18. I'm sure my mom will like you!
You're handsome and I've already told her you're rich.
19. Don't worry, at least my dad will like you!
I told him you're rich and that's enough for him.
20. How many girlfriends have you had?
I'm testing you. You better not lie, 'cause I'll find out the truth eventually.
1. My mom is the most important thing in my life
I'm gay but not willing to come out yet
2. I haven't found the right woman yet
I'm gay but not willing to come out yet. Or I'm a dick who beats his women or demands too much or is just a regular dick.
3. There's only one woman for me and I haven't found her yet
I have commitment issues. Or: I'm gay and not willing to come out yet
4. I'm happy with her, she completes me as a person
She sleeps with me, doesn't fart in front of me and always wears make-up
5. We don't need to get married
Cause I'm afraid of divorce, custody battle and losing
6. I like you
I'd like to have sex with you
7. I think I love you
This will definitely get me between your legs
8. It's not you, it's me.
It's me. I want to keep on bed-hopping in hopes of finding someone more skinnier, prettier and richer than you.
9. I love you
I love you. Or at least I think I do. At least for now. This is not, like, forever.
10. We're through
We're through. Don't start crying, it's no use. You have no use to me.
11. Should we forget all others and start seeing only each other?
You're going to forget all others and be mine. I'm going to keep a reserve.
12. Will you marry me?
Shit, should have asked about the prenup first.
13. You're pregnant? Really? Wow, I mean, wow.
Fuck. Shit. No, no, no. How could you do this to me?
14. I'm not ready to be a father
I don't want kids! They smell, are noisy and cost money!
15. I don't want this baby, but I want you
You better have an abortion
16. You'll be a great mom, I'm sure!
But I won't be here seeing that
17. Want to move in together?
I need someone to share the rent and since I already sleep with you, wouldn't mind. I hope you're into cleaning.
18. I'm sure my mom will like you!
You better look sweet and innocent or she'll eat you alive
19. Don't worry, at least my dad will like you!
He'll like anything with boobs and blonde hair...
20. How many boyfriends have you had?
You better lie.
_____________________________________________________-
What women say and what they mean?
1. My dad is the most important thing in my life
I haven't had a real boyfriend yet.
2. I haven't found the right man yet
I can't trust anyone, really.
3. There's only one man for me and I haven't found him yet
I have too high standards. Actually, you'd look great with black hair.
4. I'm happy with him, he completes me as a person
I can fart, burb and yawn in front of him and don't need to prented I like ice hockey.
5. We don't need to get married
At least not this year
6. I like you
I love you, but can't say it yet or you might get scared and run away
7. I think I love you
Don't flip out, don't flip out, don't flip...
8. It's not you, it's me.
It's you. You don't shower, you're not giving me enough attention and your wallet is not as fat as I thought it was.
9. I love you
I love you. Will you marry me and give me four, no three children?
10. We're through
I'm testing you. If you say "ok", we're through, but if you're willing to fight, I might take you back.
11. Should we forget all others and start seeing only each other?
You're going to erase all female contacts from you phone and never talk to another woman again! I'll keep Dave and Mark, they are my exes, but they are my friends.
12. Will you marry me?
Why the hell do I have to be the one to ask?
13. I'm pregnant.
You better at least act happy.
14. I'm not ready to be a mother
I am, really, but I'm testing you.
15. I don't want this baby, but I want you
I'm not ready to be a mother. I'd rather have you.
16. You'll be a great dad, I'm sure!
At least your wallet will be.
17. Want to move in together?
I can keep a better eye on you if we live together.
18. I'm sure my mom will like you!
You're handsome and I've already told her you're rich.
19. Don't worry, at least my dad will like you!
I told him you're rich and that's enough for him.
20. How many girlfriends have you had?
I'm testing you. You better not lie, 'cause I'll find out the truth eventually.
Wednesday
Feedback
If you happen to want to comment me (nicely, of course), feel free to email me at sindustry _at_ canada _dot_ com. No spam, please, let's be nice to each other.
Thursday
Saturday
The Un-read Blog
No one reads my blog. I've been doing this since 2k5 and still no hits..
Except for four returning customers that include one friend. So thanks to the three of you who keep reading my nutty thoughts.
Well, I started making this for myself anyway, so I don't mind.
So, if you happen to stop by, here's a blog you can't find. Really, you can't. Use Google, anything, I'm scribbling the only Un-read blog on the intahweb. It's funny that Google obviously hosts this, my account is for Google and even they don't know about me...
It's kind of funny.. or kind of sad. Whichever you like best.
Except for four returning customers that include one friend. So thanks to the three of you who keep reading my nutty thoughts.
Well, I started making this for myself anyway, so I don't mind.
So, if you happen to stop by, here's a blog you can't find. Really, you can't. Use Google, anything, I'm scribbling the only Un-read blog on the intahweb. It's funny that Google obviously hosts this, my account is for Google and even they don't know about me...
It's kind of funny.. or kind of sad. Whichever you like best.
Tuesday
Paris Hilton
Why should Paris be freed after what she's done?
Doesn't she have enough brain to read her own papers? Why blame the rep?
And the mother - oh - my - god.. "After all the money we spent?". Well, that proved my belief that you can get out of a lot of things with a big fund...
Paris, you belong in jail, so stop counting on your rich parents and famous name.
Hope no one falls for your little "petition".
One friend of mine just said: "The celebs should get twice the time they get just because people look up to them and learning that you can buy your way out of jail by blaming others and handing a big pack of money, is not teaching anything to anyone."
I cannot agree more.
Oh yeah, and I just spent nine days being living half life. I had a terrible flu and I was going nutty after day 6. The sun was shining and all that shit - and I was sitting inside blowing my nose.
Doesn't she have enough brain to read her own papers? Why blame the rep?
And the mother - oh - my - god.. "After all the money we spent?". Well, that proved my belief that you can get out of a lot of things with a big fund...
Paris, you belong in jail, so stop counting on your rich parents and famous name.
Hope no one falls for your little "petition".
One friend of mine just said: "The celebs should get twice the time they get just because people look up to them and learning that you can buy your way out of jail by blaming others and handing a big pack of money, is not teaching anything to anyone."
I cannot agree more.
Oh yeah, and I just spent nine days being living half life. I had a terrible flu and I was going nutty after day 6. The sun was shining and all that shit - and I was sitting inside blowing my nose.
Valentine's
The day so far (It's noonish):
Messages from friends: 1
Cards from friends: 0
Phone calls from friends: 1
Phone calls from family: 0
Good news: 1
Bills: 0
Mail advertisements: 1
Valentine's gifts: 1 known, 0 received
E-mails from friends sending Valentine's: 0
E-mails from friends wanting something: 1
Yeah. Happy Valentine's.
Messages from friends: 1
Cards from friends: 0
Phone calls from friends: 1
Phone calls from family: 0
Good news: 1
Bills: 0
Mail advertisements: 1
Valentine's gifts: 1 known, 0 received
E-mails from friends sending Valentine's: 0
E-mails from friends wanting something: 1
Yeah. Happy Valentine's.
Wednesday
I Hate Wednesdays
Basically I hate every day, but wednesdays are worst. Why? Well, It's two days work before and two days after. My worst day used to be Sunday (for Monday being the next), but I have noticed that I'm vey upset almost every Tuesday because I'll have to wake up early on Wednesday.
It's 12th October today and I haven't had money since 4th. Not a cent of my own money. I hate being a student - the money is always gone the same day and the rest of the month I'm thinking that I'd like to go here and there, but never can go.
It's 12th October today and I haven't had money since 4th. Not a cent of my own money. I hate being a student - the money is always gone the same day and the rest of the month I'm thinking that I'd like to go here and there, but never can go.
No. No, No And No
No, I don't want to do anything. I don't feel like doing assignments, attending to classes, going nowhere. Nothing, actually. I wish I could just stop breathing and be.
Not!
I should be doing a ton of things but I really don't find myself interested in anything. I should do three assignments by the end of this week and there's only one I've started, but it seems there is a lot more to do than this I'm doing right now. I got a peek on some of the stuff the other people have made and it seems that I'm going to have a bad grade on this course. Baka!
Now, it's three days to my birthday. I was planning on what to get for the party and I noticed that even though I know how to make drinks, I have absolutely no idea on how to make punch. Really. Maybe drinks, then. And there are at least four who don't drink and all the boy's won't go clubbing afterwards. I also noticed that 80% of friends I have are boys. Strange for a straight girl.
I'm so tired and having a class in five mins. I couldn't care less - actually, but I have to learn something in this school to earn my student allowance.
The tune of the day is a song I recently discovered:
Howie Day - Collide
Now, it's three days to my birthday. I was planning on what to get for the party and I noticed that even though I know how to make drinks, I have absolutely no idea on how to make punch. Really. Maybe drinks, then. And there are at least four who don't drink and all the boy's won't go clubbing afterwards. I also noticed that 80% of friends I have are boys. Strange for a straight girl.
I'm so tired and having a class in five mins. I couldn't care less - actually, but I have to learn something in this school to earn my student allowance.
The tune of the day is a song I recently discovered:
Howie Day - Collide
Thursday
American Woman
An irishman once told me I'm too much of an American Woman. He told me I walk, talk and act like an american woman. I took it as an insult. It's like he told me I'm high maintenance! I'm not one of those prentious bitches who insist that the car door is opened or they won't get out of the car, who want jewellery for anniversaries or be married after two years of dating. This is what I wanted for my 24th birthday. And I finally had something for women's day too: Finnish army combat boots. I'm happy with that.
Eek, gotta run. I have classes & I'm already late.
Tune of the moment:
Lenny Kravitz - American Woman
Eek, gotta run. I have classes & I'm already late.
Tune of the moment:
Lenny Kravitz - American Woman
Wednesday
Nothingness
Do you know what it feels like NOT to feel anything? Just being numb. Nothing can move you, you couldn't care less? Well, today I've been feeling that way. I thought I'd be glad when I woke up early enough, but I was like "duh".
One friend of mine - well, sort of a friend- ditched me when I needed him the most. He could have done such a favor to me.. but he didn't. He said, that it's against his morals. His morals? What moral? He can't even crasp the word "moral". He's just another fucker who thinks people would do anything for him without expecting a favor returned. J ordered him some things he wanted to, and paid it off with his credit card. Then we've been driving him around without him helping on the expenses. Then he treated me very badly last weekend by calling me asocial when I was kidding on something that happened. And then on Tuesday I asked him to help me on my school stuff. And he said I should do it by myself. He said it's against his moral to help me. Asshole. Weirdly I'm not even pissed off. I'm disappointed. No, not even disappointed, because I know this stuff happens to me all the time.
I want a friend who would do something for me for a change. Any volunteers?
Tune of the moment:
Three Days Grace - (I hate) Everything About you
One friend of mine - well, sort of a friend- ditched me when I needed him the most. He could have done such a favor to me.. but he didn't. He said, that it's against his morals. His morals? What moral? He can't even crasp the word "moral". He's just another fucker who thinks people would do anything for him without expecting a favor returned. J ordered him some things he wanted to, and paid it off with his credit card. Then we've been driving him around without him helping on the expenses. Then he treated me very badly last weekend by calling me asocial when I was kidding on something that happened. And then on Tuesday I asked him to help me on my school stuff. And he said I should do it by myself. He said it's against his moral to help me. Asshole. Weirdly I'm not even pissed off. I'm disappointed. No, not even disappointed, because I know this stuff happens to me all the time.
I want a friend who would do something for me for a change. Any volunteers?
Tune of the moment:
Three Days Grace - (I hate) Everything About you
Tuesday
Beautiful World
I'm so sick an tired of always hearing bad news.
They are on the newspapers, television, Internet - everywhere. Somebody "important" has been killed, a huge corporation is giving the sack for more than 2500 employees.. is it that only the worst news are the ones are really interesting? I'd be more than happy to hear the news with something good within. For example: "BlaaBlaa Inc has to let 3000 employees go, but Tjakanos Inc can take more than 60% of the BlaaBlaa Inc's employees." Do I make sense at all?
I've finished the hydrocortison treatment (a month sooner than I thought - cuz I want to fit into my dress on my 24th birthday), and it means no more extra fluids under my skin. Hallelujah! Maybe I can actually wear a bikini next summer. Though when looking outside it seems that the next summer is far-far away. It's cold, snowing and it's windy as hell.
Well, got to go. Enough whining for today.
They are on the newspapers, television, Internet - everywhere. Somebody "important" has been killed, a huge corporation is giving the sack for more than 2500 employees.. is it that only the worst news are the ones are really interesting? I'd be more than happy to hear the news with something good within. For example: "BlaaBlaa Inc has to let 3000 employees go, but Tjakanos Inc can take more than 60% of the BlaaBlaa Inc's employees." Do I make sense at all?
I've finished the hydrocortison treatment (a month sooner than I thought - cuz I want to fit into my dress on my 24th birthday), and it means no more extra fluids under my skin. Hallelujah! Maybe I can actually wear a bikini next summer. Though when looking outside it seems that the next summer is far-far away. It's cold, snowing and it's windy as hell.
Well, got to go. Enough whining for today.
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