A Gay Surprise on the Double

So,

a friend came out of the closet with a nice declaration of relationship to a person of the same sex. Everybody's known his interests forever, but no one ever actually said it or asked about it and he has never told himself. I was never sure and we're not that close, he's a friend of a good friend.

I'm not against gay people. That's the way they were coded and this is they way I was coded, there's nothing anyone can do about it.

So why are my thoughts so weird?

Has he told his parents?
What does is ex-girlfriend think now? Does she think she made her gay because of their botched relationship?
I hope I hadn't said anything bad against gay people in front of him.
I hope I didn't try to match him with a girl...

That kind of thoughts.
 
Everyone else has been congratulating and being happy. I'm just numb. Why can't I feel happy or am I - somewhere I don't want to let myself know - against the homosexuals?

I tried to think being gay is against the nature, that the default is something between a woman and a man. But it is natural. We're monkeys and monkeys have homosexual encounters. They are not driven away or shunned. The Greek based their relationships between the men and the women were only for breeding. The mightiest thinkers on Earth, the Greeks. The fathers of drama. There's nothing really weird about being gay. I just can't see it any other way than it's obvious.

So why is it bothering me? Well, not bothering but raising these weird, useless thoughts?

Well, there's one thing that really bothers me. I posted my thoughts on Facebook. I guess I wrote it so that one person got it the wrong way and asked me what I meant by it and added; "I was only thinking because, you know, I'm gay.."  Now, in his profile he says he is interested in men, but I always thought it was a joke. He's that kind of a person, into weird jokes that are sometimes baffling, so I thought this was one of them. So he's gay too. I've known him  - though not so well, more like every third weekend, lately Facebook kind of known - for almost nine years and it never occurred to me. So he's been openly gay all this time and I thought it was a joke. Should I be ashamed or does it mean I'm really so okay with this stuff that I don't have a real stand on this. No real opinion.

This doesn't change how I feel about these people or change the way I treat them, I don't actually care. But why these thoughts? It can't be because I'd regret the things I've said or done in front of them, they already know I'm an idiot.

Enlightenment

I just realized something. I've been kept out.

I've been out of something and by telling this I'm going make at least one of my two followers think I'm the shallowest person online ever.

I never knew there was  a Matt Dallas... I saw a cute guy in Eastwick and then I started watching Kyle XY - now either my taste in cute men has changed very recently because two days ago I still thought Chris Evans was heaven on earth or I just have been kept out. I stole this pic from imdb just to make my point. Don't sue me, pic rights owners..


He is fresh faced, boyish with dark curly hair and those eyes you can't figure out. He's got this rumpled, just-woken look to him that makes both the girls and the mothers love him.

It's just a shame that he's not so into girls nor mothers. His genes should stay on Earth. I don't mean that being gay is bad, but you can't make kids with other boys -yet- so he'd need a girl... Those genes should keep on going. Really. Really.

Just a thought.. all the pretty girls in my school were kind of mean to other girls. I've always been snubbed by the really handsome guys so I don't really know but is it really true that beautiful outside rarely meets beautiful inside?

I'd really, really like to meet a straight guy who's devilishly handsome, funny, smart and can spend 12 hours a day playing Fallout 3 and doesn't go partying every weekend. Actually I'd like to meet a gay guy who's like that.

There's no such thing, is there?

Eric's Hot

No, not Eric Cartman

Eric Northman the character from True Blood. His real name? Dunno and don't care, apple to ones eye won't need a name because it just lasts for that second. Well, for you who care, this cutie pie is voted ten or so times the hottest guy in Sweden. Born in Stockholm, Sweden in 1976 was named Alexander Skarsgård (and yes he is related to Stellan Skarsgård, being the son).

I bet my life he's gay.

And in this photo on IMDB, he looks like Eva Green.

I love Swedish, especially coming out of something that looks like that.

Anyway, rest your eyes on this:


Or this...



How kawaii is THAT? Huh? I always though guy wearing a top like that was hillbillyish, but look at that pack? Would you put that in a suit? Nooooooo-o.

And when the hell did I start liking guys with long hair? Swedish guys.. well, I used to date a guy from Stockholm, but he was a computer whiz, drove a BMW and was too skinny.

Eeew, Perez Hilton

First: I have nothing against gay people. Being gay is just a line in the DNA, like bad bone marrow, red hair, short index finger or blue eyes.

Second: I hate Perez Hilton.

Who the *bleep* is he to talk anything about anyone? He wears fugly clothes, is fat (I mean FAT, not healthy), he talks like a woman. He's the shame of gay people and make them look bad. Look at Kyan Douglas. Or the gazillion other gays, who look and sound good and are actually smart people.. Even Carson Kressley (or whatsit'sname) would be less annoying, if he'd cut the crap.

I didn't even realize trashing other people can make someone go as far as P.H. did. And why wouldn't he use his real name anyhow? Mario is such a cool name for a pizza - or a plumber..

I'm ashamed to say I have read perezhilton.com. But that's over now.

Oh.. and if someone wants to ask me who the hell am I to talk anything about anyone.. well, here's an answer: I recognize my own behavioral patterns and the faults in myself. Apparently some don't.

Mario what-ever-your-name-is: Go hide in your crappy apartment and die a lonely death. Even Avril Lavigne deserves it.

I Think I Like Girls Too

Well, ONE girl.

Not like that. But close.

I was watching Inside the Actors Studio last night and Cate Blanchett was the guest. That episode was from 2003, but I suppose the data is still valid :p I can't believe how humble, funny and real she seems to be. If that's really what she's like in real life.. I mean WHOA.. If I was gay, I'd love her.

Let me answer the questionnaire too, since that's my favorite part of the IAS.

What's your favorite word? Twit

What's your least favorite word? Dynamic

What turns you on? A tall, handsome, dark haired, blue eyed, broad shouldered guy walking in highwater pants..

What turns you off? Arrogance

What sound or noise do you love? Distant thunder

What sound or noise do you hate? My mother's voice

What's your favorite curse word? Vittu (It's a finnish equivalent of cunt which I learned from one of J's friends)

What profession other than yours would you like to participate? I'd like to be a helicopter pilot.

What profession other than yours would you not like to participate? I'd never want to be a coroner..

If heaven excists, what would you like to hear God say to you at the pearly gates? You're not due yet. Go back.