Memory

I just remembered a song I used to like very much. I was in love with a guy whose last name is close to "happinesville". In those days, I was seeing a guy I liked very much and ended up dating him for a year or so, but this one was a trophy I won. Me and a friend of mine were both interested in this Happinesville guy, but back then I was young and thin and she was more like me today. I didn't actually want that guy in the beginning, it was all about the competition, but when I visited his place for the first time and he was so shyly telling me that he'd been watching me for ages and hoping that I'd see him too.... Well, I chose the other guy.

Today I remembered the song he wanted me to hear. We danced the song on our first date. Usually I don't put the whole lyrics here, but I think I'll make an exception this time. For the memories. The tune of the moment is (I wish I heard it):

Cue - Burnin'

I don't think I know you,
don't think I ever will
Am I in love with you,
Well I don't know still
It may sound strange
but I'm warning you
I may not be that nice

Maybe baby I
'm a heart breaker
heart breaker
heart of ice

But I'm burnin'burnin'
'cos you set my soul on fire
Girl, I dont know what I'll do
'Cos I'm burnin'
I'm burnin'
I'm burnin' with desire

Yes I'm burnin'
and it's all because of you

We can't be together
I'm not that kind of a guy
I'll be gone and lost forever
and you won't know why
Don't get me wrong
I'm only warning you
you'd be on your own

Not!

I should be doing a ton of things but I really don't find myself interested in anything. I should do three assignments by the end of this week and there's only one I've started, but it seems there is a lot more to do than this I'm doing right now. I got a peek on some of the stuff the other people have made and it seems that I'm going to have a bad grade on this course. Baka!

Now, it's three days to my birthday. I was planning on what to get for the party and I noticed that even though I know how to make drinks, I have absolutely no idea on how to make punch. Really. Maybe drinks, then. And there are at least four who don't drink and all the boy's won't go clubbing afterwards. I also noticed that 80% of friends I have are boys. Strange for a straight girl.

I'm so tired and having a class in five mins. I couldn't care less - actually, but I have to learn something in this school to earn my student allowance.

The tune of the day is a song I recently discovered:

Howie Day - Collide

Fuck It

I'm still sick.

Today I felt really good when I woke up at 7 am. I put my clothes on, put some make up, made my hair.. and then it started again. It's in the knees first, a stinging feeling that gets worse as you move. I knew that and took a painkiller. Then I started to feel lightheaded - just like yesterday. Then I felt like I was about to throw up. I should be in bed right now, but I have some assignments to be finished tomorrow - I haven't even started. I had an appointment to doctor, but I couldn't go on friday - went too sick and didn't even remember that appointment. Shit.

I spent the whole weekend at home as J was working overtime (for the whole weekend, right) and I learnt some Japanese. I learned how to say: "it's cold outside" and "it's warm outside". I also learned the numbers from 1 to 99 so I'll understand when I hear numbers. I also learned that when someone says "atari" it means I did well. Not to forget that I learned how to say good morning, let's eat, good night, my name is & some other stuff. Let's see if I can still remember those tomorrow.

The sun is shining and I want to go out, but I'm too afraid - what if I throw up?

I have to go to school today - but not because of that cute teacher. They are teaching 3DstudioMax and it's been a while since I used it, 'cause I'm learning ScetchUp. Let's hope that after I've eaten, I feel better.

Ittedakimasu!

Not ANOTHER One..

Again, one friend of mine just sent me a message: they're having a baby. And not just a baby, possibly TWINS! One more and I'll go nuts. What are the odds him ever visiting again? And what the hell for everyone is selling their freedom - for what - diapers? And why the hell for make any more children? Let the overgrowing populations fill the earth and let their children suffer. I won't leave my genes running on this earth, no way. My children would deserve a place where they wouldn't have to start working in the age of six (yeah, school IS work) and wouldn't have to work until they are too old to even make it to the toilet before embarrasing theirselves. Fuck no. Go on, ruin someone else's life too.

Today's tune of the moment is about freedom:

Utah Saints - Highlander (CJ Bolland Remix)

Would you go clubbing if you had children? No, if you were a decent parent.

.. Does this mean I'll never grow old?

American Woman

An irishman once told me I'm too much of an American Woman. He told me I walk, talk and act like an american woman. I took it as an insult. It's like he told me I'm high maintenance! I'm not one of those prentious bitches who insist that the car door is opened or they won't get out of the car, who want jewellery for anniversaries or be married after two years of dating. This is what I wanted for my 24th birthday. And I finally had something for women's day too: Finnish army combat boots. I'm happy with that.

Eek, gotta run. I have classes & I'm already late.

Tune of the moment:

Lenny Kravitz - American Woman

Movies

Have you even seen a movie that really effects your thoughts and feelings for a moment? In 1993, I saw Schindler's List. It was like, what, three hours long? When I went in, the sun was shining and it was windy. When I came out everything had turned to grey and it was raining. My friend said she felt as if the "angels were crying". I totally won't go see Hotel Rwanda.

Yesterday J didn't remember the Women's day, so I went out with my friend for a coffee and finally ended up playing a touch-monitor game in a smokey restaurant, sipping ice water and laughing our asses out. Of course J wasn't so pleased when I spent hours there (I guess I should have been home in his mind) and a big load of money for bad coffee and the game machine as well.

It's a perfect sunny weather outside. Maybe I'll go for a stroll before going to classes.

Oh, and yesterday I learned what is "College Rock". The tune of the moment is a good example.

Tune of the moment:
3 Doors Down - Let Me Go

Something Stupid..

Today is the international Women's Day. Well, J didn't remember it - he never remembers anything. He didn't even remember we have been together for four years, not three, as he told his cousin who lives in California. At least he knows when it's my birthday.

I've been playing the Sims 2 for the whole last week. I didn't even go out as I had fever almost every day. So I've been more or less sick for three weeks now. Last night I had fever too, but I decided to come to school today anyway. The reason? The cutest teacher I've ever seen. He's not really THAT goodlooking, but he has a speech defect. He cannot say the letters "r" and "s" properly, but I think that's the fact that makes him so cute. And it makes people to listen to what he says. That's not a good reason to attend classes, but hey - at least I'm here. AND forgot to take my assignment with me.

Oh, went to see Constantine. Great movie, lots of fun. All the reviews were about it sucking hard, but I simply loved it! I had to see it twice, though I don't like Rachel Weisz). And Keanu Reeves still looks hot. HOT. HOT!