A Writer's Block

I've been working on one thing for over a year now. It's a silly little thing, and it sucks, but still I keep writing it. The people have grown to be like friends, and it's weird to stop writing it every day when J returns home. It's funny that writing it, I'm somewhere else, among different people, and I'm different, and when I return back to my own life, I'm frustrated. It's a stupid love story, a triangle, trashy, like the ones you buy for a flight and then throw away.

I write it in English, and I know I shouldn't, because I write better in my own language. But some things are better said in English.

So, about the block. It's not that I cannot write anything, it's that I have too much. I write different scenes, I call them scenes. Then I decide they're too much, or too stupid, and destroy them. I've written 200 pages and destroyed 120.

And I can't read books anymore. I see a beautiful description, and I want to copy it. Plagiate, if you will.

Past Life Experiences..

So, about me getting physically ill after seeing Alex O'Loughlin for the first time...

A friend, who is basically a yahoo over anything new agy, weird, paranormal etc, just explained that reaction. According to him, we have met in a past life - and in that life I've done something bad to him, so I had a violent reaction... so I asked around and had a recommendation of regression therapy. I would like to tell that I did go and have therapy to remember my previous lives, but since I don't believe in anything like that, I didn't.

Once, years ago, I did a humourous test about past lives - and according to it, in my previous life I was a chicken. Apparently he choke on a chicken bone in his previous life. Or that I was a poisoner (witch) in my life before my short life as a chicken, and he happened to be the victim. The reason I would think a witch would have poisoned anyone was because of one of these things: Either he was a crappy husband and I poisoned him, probably using a little belladonna cooked in his food.. maybe I burned the dinner that night... or I was in love with the town hottie - him - and fed him poison instead of the love potion. Or it might be that he was en evil lord and he just got what he deserved.

Now, when it comes to Karma.. my life has been pretty crappy this time, so probably I've now paid my dues. His life seems nice now, so apparently he got a reward for the sudden ending of his past life. Now, if he was bad and still he's rewarded in this life, my karma is just biting me in the ass, because I apparently killed an innocent person? Oopsy. I'm starting to think my theory no 2. with the love poison did me.