Oooh, New Year!

Well, hi

It's a new year. I still haven't broken my new years promise which was whine less and be nicer to everyone.

I have, indeed, whined less. And I've smiled to people even if they didn't smile back. Everyone should try that every now and then. Surprisingly you feel better if one out of the 200 people you smiled at smiles back.

It's still an awesome winter even though it was two days above zero (centigrade). It's been snowy, cold and awesome. I've been out more this winter than last year combined (and I'm not exaggerating).


We went to see the fireworks on new years eve. It was sad that the whole firework show given by the town was covered in low hanging clouds.. or mist.. or something. It was bizarre, the red, green, blue and golden flashes inside the mist thing.

I still don't have a job. I've been looking, been interviewed, but I guess I'm not good enough. I have a strategy, though. I'm going to look fabulous the next time. I heard some men hire girls for their looks, not how much work experience or education they have. That's my strategy. I'm onto it. I've lost 8 kilos since I made that decision. I still look kind of cute (and I know I've looked hot at one point since I got hired for two jobs by men that proved to be quite the old perverts).  

Oh and I've lost the eight kilos by losing everything that says 'light' from my diet. Apparently you do need whole milk and actual fats to stay fit. You don't eat as much as you've being nourished with less... If you want to lose weight: Lose all that says "light"..  I've already dropped all energy drinks since my last toothy experience and a couple more after that. Of course it means I don't get to drink sugary juice or cola. (I do have a cola day. I can drink cola on Fridays. I also have a karkkipäivä (Finnish kids usually have one day a week they can eat candy). That's why our teeth are among the best in world. I'm not sure if I remembered to tell about the last of my wisdom teeth that was removed last autumn. Removing that caused a whole jawbone infection. Jesus Christ the pain... I was basically on horse tranquilizer and antibiotics. I'm glad I don't have to do that ever again. Oh and I now know I have an extra tooth growing above my teeth. It's awesome. I have to upload the röntgen image sometime. Now I'm too lazy.

I must have done something really mean in my previous life for getting this much shit on this one. Well, actually, according to one fortune teller, in my past life I was a chick (that got eaten), before  that I was a sailor that was working on a slave ship from Congo to New Amsterdam or something - and before that I was a witch and I'm responsible for poisoning three people. I guess being a chicken once paid all my previous sins and now I'm only getting the minor stuff. Like having mostly shitty life. And J is my price for making this life (after the chicken part) mostly law-abiding.

We've been planning a trip to Sweden and Norway next summer. We, or J, is going to drive the whole 3000 kilometers in seven days. It's going to be hell. I hope the car AC dies or something. I get to visit the world's northernmost IKEA in Haparanda, Sweden. And I get to show J what it looks like in the North. Show him why I love Lapland (no matter if it's Finnish, Swedish or Norwegian Lapland or all of them). I hope he likes it. The scenery up their is something you either love or hate.

First I wanted to go to this awesome little place called "Å i Lofoten". It's a small old fishing village (with all new houses) that rents 'rorbuer' or fishing cabins. I checked it on Google Maps Street View and the scenery was so awesome I instantly knew that's the place I want to go to. Then I found out they charge over 1050 NOK (It's 135€) a night. In a cabin you a) can't get linen for (they charge extra), b) you need to clean the cabin yourself and c) no breakfast. You can get a business class hotel room in Helsinki city for one night with that price - with continental breakfast, swimming pool and a sauna. Lofoten is an experience I can easily pass if two nights there eat almost half of our hotel budget. In Finland, we get two nights with that price in a real hotel room with breakfast and in Sweden, we get two nights and a boat trip for that price. So we changed our plan, we're going to leave Lofoten i Norge for good and just go by and spend the money on a eco whale safari. I don't know about the eco stuff more than they don't roar the engines around the whales. I'd rather go see live whale tails once in my life than pay for too much for a small cabin you have to clean up yourself. I knew Norway was expensive but that expensive. But I heard they get good wages for basically being lazy workers. By the way, I've been learning Norwegian for a few days now. I heard they hate Finns so we need to sound at least Swedish. I'm so glad I can do "sjungande svenska" or 'flowing' Swedish.. It's easier to learn Norwegian when you already know Swedish. But some of the words.. my favorites so far are 'drosje' for taxi and 'sykehus' for hospital  - I like the way they sound when you pronounce them with near correct accent.

Oh and I'm so going to work in Norway. After we go check it and if I can master the language there. Of course J will get a job, he's so good at what he does. I don't mind being the mailman. The goddamn mailman earns almost 19€/h. It's a shitload more than here. I heard they are quite the language racists, though, so you really need to speak the language if trying to get a job. In Norway, you pay less taxes, earn more, have more vacation (darned oil money, it's the oil..), they actually encourage having kids.. and they have the most awesome sceneries in the world.. It's my country. The people I'm not so sure of.

... and more about the language. I know I'm good. I speak nearly perfect Canadian accent (yeah, they do have an accent) English, I can speak proper, genuine Swedish.. when I'm not in the country and around people who speak it themselves. When I'm amongst the native speakers I go insecure, tackle with words. Except for when I'm drunk. And I haven't been drunk for a while now.

I better finish this before it turn out to be a goddamn novel.

A Note To A Sick One

Hi,

I'm sorry you got sick. I don't know what caused it but I know I'm one of the reasons. I know we have a lot of microbes that itch, burn and cause sickness, but you had the biggest and deadliest.

So, you will die. We, all of us, tend to hope you'll know when it comes and you'll try to fix yourself on your own, but I'm afraid you can't. Not as long as the people around you won't do anything to help.

You're so beautiful. From the outside you're perfect. There are some marks of hard existence on your surface, but that only makes me like you even more. You're the only round one people will never call fat :)

You're my mother, my father, the giver of life. I'm sorry your life is at an end - too soon to be called fair. I was hoping it wasn't a sickness caused by people but something that couldn't be changed. And here it is, after so many years, it has caught you.

We, your children will kill you unless you kill us first. Please do that. Most of us don't deserve life anyway. But if you can, please find a way to not to destroy the other living things. They can't help themselves. We could, but won't.

I'm sorry, Earth, in behalf of some seven billion different stupid, selfish, arrogant viruses on your surface. You should have thought twice.

Pro Life or Pro Choice

In short: I'm Pro Life with Choice

But I'm not rubbing it to your face. Every woman has her right. Ever since I've been a teenager, I've know I'd put my baby up for adoption if I would get knocked up. Besides, I've always been careful enough to keep myself clean from The Pill and STD's. Financially it would be safe to be a teenage mother in this country, you'd only need some some humble attitude and strong will, so being a teenager in this country, would not be a reason.

If I got knocked up by a one night stand, I'd go Life & Adoption..

If I got knocked up in an abusive relationship, I'd go Life & Adoption..

If I got raped, I'd still go Life & Adoption.. It wouldn't be my or the baby's fault.

If I had no money to support myself, I'd go Life & Adoption..

If my baby would have something wrong, I'd go Choice. The only time I'd go choice. A life lived only half or without knowing who you are, unable to ask and unable to understand is not a life. A life lived as a burden to other people would not be a life.

The reason for this post is the numerous sites each defending their own side.
I found a site dedicated to a law that would force abortion agencies to let the parents of a minor know. The site introduced tens of calls to Planned Parenthood in which a voice altered "teen" called to check if they would offer her abortion allthough her "boyfriend" was 22 (In the US, it's called a statutory rape). The only thing I learned from those tapes was that most of the ones who worked on that line didn't know about that law or were too bored in their job to actually listen to the caller. I found a site with horrible pictures of aborted fetuses. I found a site claiming that anonymous abortion on a clinic without parents knowing is much better than butcher abortions (I agree).. A few girls die over septicemia or some complication, but that is almost always the result of their own actions. It's like taking a vacation in Iraq: Lot's of sun and sand, but you might end up dead any day. If you're ready to have sex, you're ready to suffer the consequences and it might include a death. You might have HIV instead of a child, would like that? Decisions, decisions...

So, I'm pro life with Choice and Let Others Choose Their Side.

Getting Old

I realized today that in 2006 I'll be 25. Imagine that. I still feel like 16 and look 18 - according to some of my friends. I'll have 25 more years to be called "old" and 25 after that to be dead. That's horrible! I don't want to get old, I don't want to die, but hey, what can one do? Except wait. It would me fun to be able to know the day you're going to day. I want to die 13th December 2061. That would be a nice day to die. Remember that, dear fate!

One friend of mine turned 28 today. His age reminded me of the fact I haven't done anything that matters. No children, no job, nothing. Does it mean I'm nothing too? I wish that someone could show me what would have happened if I was never born. Like the spirits showed Mr. Scrooge (or who the hell he was). Like in the movie Butterfly Effect - in which Ashton Kutchers' character decides to die in the womb after never succeeding to make other people's lifes better. I guess this wasn't in the screened version and only the ones who bought the DVD had the chance for the alternate ending.

Well, enough talk about death and misery.

I'm happy today. I feel kinda good. I might have mentioned this before, but I can't stop being amazed at the fact that just by seeing someone really, really good looking might save one's day. Like today. I was cold, my feet were wet and I was tired after 25 minute walk to school, but then this one dude - who I find drop dead gorgeous - walked by me at the hallway, saw me, sat on the opposite couch and started talking. It's funny that he makes me nervous. Nervous in that good way. And he makes me go back to the teenagy-blushing-stupid smiling -thing. I'm glad he has a girlfriend - I might have a crush on otherwise.

Today's tune is one I found recently on one of my friends' CDs. The lyrics aren't really the thing - despite of the "happy" thoughts of the lyrics, I find the melody very sad and the way she sings.. it's not a way someone sends her love to to someone who's still here.

Ayumi Hamasaki - Heaven