I realized today that in 2006 I'll be 25. Imagine that. I still feel like 16 and look 18 - according to some of my friends. I'll have 25 more years to be called "old" and 25 after that to be dead. That's horrible! I don't want to get old, I don't want to die, but hey, what can one do? Except wait. It would me fun to be able to know the day you're going to day. I want to die 13th December 2061. That would be a nice day to die. Remember that, dear fate!
One friend of mine turned 28 today. His age reminded me of the fact I haven't done anything that matters. No children, no job, nothing. Does it mean I'm nothing too? I wish that someone could show me what would have happened if I was never born. Like the spirits showed Mr. Scrooge (or who the hell he was). Like in the movie Butterfly Effect - in which Ashton Kutchers' character decides to die in the womb after never succeeding to make other people's lifes better. I guess this wasn't in the screened version and only the ones who bought the DVD had the chance for the alternate ending.
Well, enough talk about death and misery.
I'm happy today. I feel kinda good. I might have mentioned this before, but I can't stop being amazed at the fact that just by seeing someone really, really good looking might save one's day. Like today. I was cold, my feet were wet and I was tired after 25 minute walk to school, but then this one dude - who I find drop dead gorgeous - walked by me at the hallway, saw me, sat on the opposite couch and started talking. It's funny that he makes me nervous. Nervous in that good way. And he makes me go back to the teenagy-blushing-stupid smiling -thing. I'm glad he has a girlfriend - I might have a crush on otherwise.
Today's tune is one I found recently on one of my friends' CDs. The lyrics aren't really the thing - despite of the "happy" thoughts of the lyrics, I find the melody very sad and the way she sings.. it's not a way someone sends her love to to someone who's still here.
Ayumi Hamasaki - Heaven