What men say and what they mean?
1. My mom is the most important thing in my life
I'm gay but not willing to come out yet
2. I haven't found the right woman yet
I'm gay but not willing to come out yet. Or I'm a dick who beats his women or demands too much or is just a regular dick.
3. There's only one woman for me and I haven't found her yet
I have commitment issues. Or: I'm gay and not willing to come out yet
4. I'm happy with her, she completes me as a person
She sleeps with me, doesn't fart in front of me and always wears make-up
5. We don't need to get married
Cause I'm afraid of divorce, custody battle and losing
6. I like you
I'd like to have sex with you
7. I think I love you
This will definitely get me between your legs
8. It's not you, it's me.
It's me. I want to keep on bed-hopping in hopes of finding someone more skinnier, prettier and richer than you.
9. I love you
I love you. Or at least I think I do. At least for now. This is not, like, forever.
10. We're through
We're through. Don't start crying, it's no use. You have no use to me.
11. Should we forget all others and start seeing only each other?
You're going to forget all others and be mine. I'm going to keep a reserve.
12. Will you marry me?
Shit, should have asked about the prenup first.
13. You're pregnant? Really? Wow, I mean, wow.
Fuck. Shit. No, no, no. How could you do this to me?
14. I'm not ready to be a father
I don't want kids! They smell, are noisy and cost money!
15. I don't want this baby, but I want you
You better have an abortion
16. You'll be a great mom, I'm sure!
But I won't be here seeing that
17. Want to move in together?
I need someone to share the rent and since I already sleep with you, wouldn't mind. I hope you're into cleaning.
18. I'm sure my mom will like you!
You better look sweet and innocent or she'll eat you alive
19. Don't worry, at least my dad will like you!
He'll like anything with boobs and blonde hair...
20. How many boyfriends have you had?
You better lie.
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What women say and what they mean?
1. My dad is the most important thing in my life
I haven't had a real boyfriend yet.
2. I haven't found the right man yet
I can't trust anyone, really.
3. There's only one man for me and I haven't found him yet
I have too high standards. Actually, you'd look great with black hair.
4. I'm happy with him, he completes me as a person
I can fart, burb and yawn in front of him and don't need to prented I like ice hockey.
5. We don't need to get married
At least not this year
6. I like you
I love you, but can't say it yet or you might get scared and run away
7. I think I love you
Don't flip out, don't flip out, don't flip...
8. It's not you, it's me.
It's you. You don't shower, you're not giving me enough attention and your wallet is not as fat as I thought it was.
9. I love you
I love you. Will you marry me and give me four, no three children?
10. We're through
I'm testing you. If you say "ok", we're through, but if you're willing to fight, I might take you back.
11. Should we forget all others and start seeing only each other?
You're going to erase all female contacts from you phone and never talk to another woman again! I'll keep Dave and Mark, they are my exes, but they are my friends.
12. Will you marry me?
Why the hell do I have to be the one to ask?
13. I'm pregnant.
You better at least act happy.
14. I'm not ready to be a mother
I am, really, but I'm testing you.
15. I don't want this baby, but I want you
I'm not ready to be a mother. I'd rather have you.
16. You'll be a great dad, I'm sure!
At least your wallet will be.
17. Want to move in together?
I can keep a better eye on you if we live together.
18. I'm sure my mom will like you!
You're handsome and I've already told her you're rich.
19. Don't worry, at least my dad will like you!
I told him you're rich and that's enough for him.
20. How many girlfriends have you had?
I'm testing you. You better not lie, 'cause I'll find out the truth eventually.