Tuesday

An Open Letter To Josh Groban

Dear Josh,

The thing you did at the Emmy's...

It cracked me up. It was great! I had the best laugh for weeks! Anyone who said you shouldn't have done it are uptight cu*ts! You always sing these doo-do-loo-la-la-lovey-dovey -songs and that was a breath of clean air! You actually can sing other than pretty churchy songs too! Awesome! Amazing! I'm not a fan of yours, I don't even like more than two of your songs but your v-log gave me the impession you're not this pure little cute church-boy and I LIKE IT! A little bad boy in your image would do great!

I also think that you could ditch your eyeglasses to something more.. umm.. less gay. Check out the Police Eyewear, they'll look great on you. Try V 8270 for starters and fire your stylist for letting you wear those hideous Dame Edna things.

Also, I'm going to be stealing your song to make a Sims 2 video, hope you'll forgive me and not sue. Tell that to your label too.

What else..? Oh, right. I have never-ever-ever though of you as something more than the too-good-awkward neighbor boy type, but your late night kitchen blog made me think what kind of a kisser you are. Than I remembered how young you are and I realized I probably wouldn't get to try unless I became a Natalie Portman myself. Anyway.

Are you gay? I don't mind if you are, I just want to say that the womanhood is missing something in you. If you aren't, don't marry. Or at least do a prenup.

Here's the JG v-log embedded for you few readers:


Late Night Kitchen Time from Josh Groban on Vimeo.