Tuesday

Three Memories

These things just came into my mind today. All of these happened years ago, but suddenly they were in my mind - like they were yesterday:

There was a guy I had a crush on. We were working on some project together when I had to go home. I left in a hurry and had to go through the back door. It was winter, cold as hell. It was snowing. I had a portable cd-player with me and I put some music on. I turned the music loud, put some mittens on and started walking. I took some ten or more steps and got scared the shit out of me. It was my project mate who took me by the hand, pushed me to the wall and pushed himself to me. Then it was him leaning towards me, putting his hands to the wall and bent down. I remember him being at least ten inches taller than me. He had blonde hair and grey eyes. And boy, he was a good kisser - not that I knew a lot about kissing then - but anyway.

The other memory, it was in senior high I suppose, when I was doing some homework at the school lounge (pictured, btw- by the table I marked with a red arrow.) I was doing some dna stuff, trying to memorize what the teacher taught as I felt someone standing behind me. I felt his breath in my hair when he whispered: "Can I kiss you?" I - being the idiot I am, said: "I'll have to think about it." This was the guy I had been hanging out with, going out for drives and stuff. I don't remember his name anymore, but I remember his face. He never did kiss me, because we were interrupted by some of his friends. I hate myself for being that kind of an idiot.

The last and the newest one: I was out for a walk with this guy. It was late evening, late fall. Cold. It was a starry night and we walked to the pier and just talked and talked and looked at the stars. I don't even know how late it was when we finally went to his place, but I was freezing. So he took my clothes off and tucked me into his bed. And there we slept until his brother came to wake up us in the morning. Him holding me, like I was something he might lose any second.

Sometimes you just want to stay in your memories. Today was like that.