Sometimes you just know when the day is going to be perfect.
I woke up and just knew.
The good things about today are definetly the dream I had last night, the wintery scene outside and the fact that I had the cutest SMS waiting for me when I finally got up. Now, I should have gone to school but when the alarm rang I just couldn't tear myself up. Because I was watching the best movie ever - a dream starring me and Jake Gyllenhaal. He is a) friggin' gorgeous, b) soo handsome c) not a very good actor. But in my dream he was. It's funny, how some dreams are just so realistic that you wake up a little confused, like "where the hell did HE go?" And the best part of the dream was that he wasn't an actor in it, but a reqular john working in his dads' firm. And I knew he was Jake Gyllenhaal, but it never occured me in that dream that soon he'll have to walk in front of the camera and be someone else. Funny.
The cutest part of the dream was definitely was when we were making out and his dad came and we were kind of embarassed -as if we were teenagers. The feelings in that dream were so real I started thinking that if dreams are really for us to have something we can't, just once. And how can a human body reflect the feelings that it has never felt before - like winning in the lottery - how can one have that exploding happiness -feeling if one has never won anyting. Just minutes before I woke up - I think- I had go home for awhile and when I returned there, his sister - Maggie- came and gave me a hug but I had missed him so much I couldn't see anyone else but him. And that welcome kiss was so full of pain and relief and..
I wonder if there's something wrong with me - I tend to be so reliant on my dreams. A bad dream can spoil a day, a good one can make it seem perfect.
But hey, I'm still a non-Gyllenhaalic. I'm not a fan. Fans are people who watch his films over and over again and talk about him to people and collect the posters and stuff. I just have him in my dreams, but it seems to me that he in my dreams is really someone else, someone I don't know but is there and he's giving the face for him - as if being the new DreamGuy of mine.
Oh, and In Real Life, I'm very, very confused. One day - like the day before yesterday- J means the world to me and on a day like today I wish I had the strength to pack my stuff and leave. But I know that if I leave him I'll never have anyone who can make me laugh like him and be my best friend. And I know he's so weak right now that if I leave he'll stop living. And he thinks the same way about me. No solution then.