It Can't Rain All The Time

It's been raining for almost a month now. Not every day, but most of the time.

I go to school by bike, and it's really not nice. No matter

About school... so far, I've enjoyed the school. I haven't even ditched a class yet. It's weird.

And now something completely different:

It's the extra tooth I'm growin in my jaw bone. <3

Silent Lucidity

An incredibly vivid dream again.

It was weird to wake up and find myself from my own bed. It had felt like I had just been somewhere warm, and there was a guy called Josh.

Now, I don't know anyone named Josh, but he seemed so familiar.

We desperately wanted to touch each other, just to hold a hand, or even brush an arm, anything. There was nobody else there, but still we couldn't. I think that over the dream I felt it would be wrong to do it, because of J. Funny, it usually hasn't kept any of the creepy dreams away, especially ones like these.

But it felt like falling in love with someone, not ever wanting to lose them. 

Anyway, I was awaken for just a moment, to realize it had been a dream, and where I was, but still asleep enough to be able to continue (I've been practicing this since high school) the dream. It's easy, but you need to practice remembering your dreams, and then learn how to fall back asleep, even if you don't feel like sleeping. You only have moments to do it.

Before I fell back asleep I reminded myself that it was okay to do it, that it was only a dream.

I managed to continue from exactly the moment I had woken from.

A little boy, his son, not much older than a toddler I think, was heading towards me, and I took him in my arms, and held him. The boy touched my forehead with his forehead, and stayed in that position, until Josh took my hand. He just held my hand, and I felt such a power, a surge of emotion fill me.. I can't even explain it. Like we were complete, a unit.

I put the boy back on the ground, and he happily toddled off. Then Josh kissed me, and I was so relieved..

I woke about 25 minutes later, and still could feel the sensation. It has now been three hours, but I still feel relieved. And I still smile.

Another One Bites the Dust

Remember this post?


Well, he won't be playing Spartacus from now on, as he lost his fight with non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Rest in Peace, Andy Whitfield.

I hope that the rest of the guys I listed in my Cutie Nobodies list get to live.

Back To School

 So, I'm back to school.

It's an English speaking programme, and I'm very unhappy that most of the people there are not foreign. It felt like a good opportunity to have fun learning a profession I could actually get a job in, and maybe better my language skills. But yippikay-ee, everyone's fuckin' Finnish, with their Finnish accent. Except for the Canadian ginger, who looks like a bitch and who keeps giving me some nasty evil looks for absolutely no reason. I actually thought I'd like to get to know her before I talked with her. All the other girls are pretty and they've already done the clicque thing. And as usual, I'm out. Well, nothing new there. I'm blaming my mum who thought it was necessary to beat me up for absolutely no reason whatsoever instead of letting me go to someone's house or have someone over.

I'm not one who can fake-smile all day long, be all giddy and love the stupid games you play to get to know each other's face. After the first day, my face actually hurt from all the smiling. And by afternoon I desperately wanted a drink. I don't drink, and I'm getting a drink today.

The school really starts on Monday. I'm pretty sure I'll not make it to the end.


Oh, and happy birthday to someone special. Hope you have a good day. A little birthday song for you: