So, I didn't have a chance to finish my last post as something BIG came up.
No, I didn't win in the lottery.
I had complications of the TWO lumbar punctures (at least they gave me a good dose of sedatives. I was practically asleep when they did it) they had to perform on me to find out if I have hypertension in my brain. Somehow my spinal fluid kept on leaking from the punctures, and it caused me a hellish headache. Now, I don't mean a girly headache, nor even a migraine headache. It was pure, evil, awful hell. In a scale of 1 to 10, the headache was a ten, the worst pain I've ever gone through. Think that spinal taps hurt? Nope. Think that needles hurt? Nope. I haven't given birth, but at least it has a reward in the end. This one only hurt.
The funny thing about that headache was that it only worsened when trying to get up. When in bed it was just a minor irritation, like a regular headache, but as soon as I lifted my head... oh boy-o...
So, they needed to patch me up, and it meant two other spinal taps. They took some blood and put it in. It was supposed to patch something, but at first it didn't and the headache returned, but not as bad as it was before the blood patch. I had to return to hospital and I spent five days in the hospital and emergency ward. Only the second blood patch worked, but I had to lay in bed for two weeks until the back pain ceased enough for me to walk.
And the medication.. Ho-ly-crap. It causes me to eat like a horse. I'm constantly hungry, and I don't mean that I crave food, but it's like I haven't had anything to eat for days! It takes a lot, a lot, and a lot more willpower not to indulge. My mouth is always dry, and the things I liked, things that tasted good taste like shit. How about Prednisolon then? Adds to the hunger game. It also adds to swelling, so my face looks like I've gained 20 kilos. Everything is swollen, wobbly and nasty.
I have a theory. What caused this was not my fatty. I've had physical activity more than the recommended amount per week for a year, so it couldn't be just fat-caused. What caused it was the medication for acne (which I don't have. It's folliculitis, the inflammation of the hair follicles, stupid doctor). It's lymecycline. It may cause hypertension in the brain. It also may cause hirsutism (yeah, I have a beard) and several other ailments I always thought to exist because I thought I had been sitting on the computer too long, or simply because I was fat. Nope, it's the drug. I had eaten it for over two years until I figured everything's because of that. First of all, you're only supposed to take it for eight weeks, and maximum of three months. Second, I've complained of all of my symptoms to a doctor AND mentioned the medicine, but none of the doctors ever put one and one together.
One good thing came out of it, anyway. There was a drop dead gorgeous intern in the emergency ward. He was almost ready to take on his duties as a doctor, but he needed some more practice, so he stuck an IV needle in me. He was nervous, I was nervous, and it all ended in a huge pool of blood on the floor. Poor thing. I hope he remembers me, as I insisted that I want a nurse to do it next time. I guess I broke his confidence.
Well, on my way to misery anyway. I applied to engineering, but couldn't make it. It was the first entrance exam I ever practiced for (I've used to getting in where I wanted, except law school where I wanted but didn't bother to study in advance). Huge disappointment. So I'm stuck with nursing school. Nothing else has changed.
When people were made, there were some pieces left - enough to make one more person. That's me. I'm leftovers.
Thursday
Hospital
Yup, it's been a nice week.
On Monday I came in to a eye specialist to have my eyes checked due to loss of sigh in my right eye. Now I'm in the neurological ward after a CAT-scan, MRI, lumbar puncture and various blood tests.
Nobody has told me but I think they are following two theories: either I have MS or IIH. I hope it's the latter because it will ease up with losing weight, and taking some medication. MS will most likely result in very painful death by aspiration of something that will cause a pneumonia or just plainly suffocating.
What made me suspect IIH? I did some research and I came up with something that matches me in the typical patient group, matches the symptoms, and is found by eliminating other possible culprits with a CAT-scan, MRI and lumbar puncture.
A lumbar puncture was done to me yesterday, and it was pure hell. I couldn't relax, and as they found a needle spot...
Edit: They are, indeed, suspecting IIH! The doctor just came to his rounds.
On Monday I came in to a eye specialist to have my eyes checked due to loss of sigh in my right eye. Now I'm in the neurological ward after a CAT-scan, MRI, lumbar puncture and various blood tests.
Nobody has told me but I think they are following two theories: either I have MS or IIH. I hope it's the latter because it will ease up with losing weight, and taking some medication. MS will most likely result in very painful death by aspiration of something that will cause a pneumonia or just plainly suffocating.
What made me suspect IIH? I did some research and I came up with something that matches me in the typical patient group, matches the symptoms, and is found by eliminating other possible culprits with a CAT-scan, MRI and lumbar puncture.
A lumbar puncture was done to me yesterday, and it was pure hell. I couldn't relax, and as they found a needle spot...
Edit: They are, indeed, suspecting IIH! The doctor just came to his rounds.
Friday
Time To Panic
Okay. I'm officially over 30. I still don't feel a day over 15. When is it coming, adulthood?
I have realized I want to stay at school. I like most of my schoolmates, and I really think this is something I should be doing. I have already told everyone that I'm leaving, so I can't change my mind anymore. I'm feeling this weird, panicky feeling that I shouldn't quit. That this thing should run its course. It's creeping the poo out of me.
Then, there's a girl. If I was gay, I would probably love her.
Her name is Joanne. Her eyes are big and amazing green, and her round face is so beautiful. She even has freckles. She's a bit round, but perfectly so. She looks like a proper woman, and an amazing one. Her accent is amazing. I could listen to her for hours. I would like to be her friend, but I have wanted to make friends with so many people who ended up disappointing me badly. So I won't even try, though we are about the same age and at a similar situation in life.. Our nephews are even about the same age. I know I'll probably lose a potential friend here, but I'd rather like her when I don't properly know her. So, she'll only be my friend in my short story.
I have realized I want to stay at school. I like most of my schoolmates, and I really think this is something I should be doing. I have already told everyone that I'm leaving, so I can't change my mind anymore. I'm feeling this weird, panicky feeling that I shouldn't quit. That this thing should run its course. It's creeping the poo out of me.
Then, there's a girl. If I was gay, I would probably love her.
Her name is Joanne. Her eyes are big and amazing green, and her round face is so beautiful. She even has freckles. She's a bit round, but perfectly so. She looks like a proper woman, and an amazing one. Her accent is amazing. I could listen to her for hours. I would like to be her friend, but I have wanted to make friends with so many people who ended up disappointing me badly. So I won't even try, though we are about the same age and at a similar situation in life.. Our nephews are even about the same age. I know I'll probably lose a potential friend here, but I'd rather like her when I don't properly know her. So, she'll only be my friend in my short story.
A Vivid Dream & Some School
Again I had such a vivid dream it has been hard to concentrate. I only remember a pair of piercing blue eyes, messy faux-hawk hairdo, and an amazing, amazing body. And again kisses that do not happen. What's with the goddamn kisses that don't happen? I need a Joseph or someone to explain these dreams.
And I decided to quit the school. I want to be a nurse, and I'm sure I would make a good one, but I will not be wiping people's asses for the rest of my life. Gerontology is up and coming subject, but I haven't spent almost my whole life in school to wipe other people's asses. That job is for the ones who drop out of high school.
And I decided to quit the school. I want to be a nurse, and I'm sure I would make a good one, but I will not be wiping people's asses for the rest of my life. Gerontology is up and coming subject, but I haven't spent almost my whole life in school to wipe other people's asses. That job is for the ones who drop out of high school.
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