A Tiny Update

The last time I wrote.. was in January.

A lot of things have happened since.

My friend who was murdered has a kid brother, who is now under suspicion of killing his girlfriend. That sweet boy! That kid - the friendliest ever. Good boy, who enjoyed playing outside.. social.. Now just a pathetic worthless druggie. That's how little you know people around you! I'm ashamed to know that boy now..

And the job.. well, it was a hoax. I was supposed to go and teach and they said they're going to pay me according to the amount of lessons I give. Nothing was said about selling the courses as well - not until I got the contract and was about to sign. So, I would have had to spend hours selling the courses, but I wouldn't have gotten paid. I so quit that thing. Guess my bad luck is still on its track.

J bought an apartment. We've been renovating it. It's a two-bedroom apartment with a fabulous view. I can hardly wait getting it ready so we can move. My hand - well, actually it's my wrist and thumb  - hurts like hell. I'm suspecting a carpal tunnel syndrome.. But I'm not going to the doctor. Too many bad experiences from that health clinic. Well, as soon as we move to another neighborhood, I can change my clinic. Oh, and about that neighborhood.. a lot of young families, some elders and no immigrants. I guess we're part of white flight then..

By the way, J pays 30% direct tax of his paycheck. Plus VAT and other taxes. Wow it's great to live in Finland. And they are expecting us Finns to pay up the debts of Portugal, Ireland and Greece. Greece is what makes me roll around in anger.. They may retire at the age of 53. If I get a job, I'll be able to retire at 73. J will be able to retire at 68. How unfair is that? They get to retire while they still have some strength left, but we're basically in grave before we can stop working.
 
My kid sister found a boyfriend. He drinks a bit too much, but he's young. They are both young. But he's from the countryside, from a good family and is just what my kid sister needs: a well-bred boy, who is social and has a job. After a disaster of a relationship that's exactly what my sister deserves. That's a good thing.

My elder sister is pregnant. Again. This is her sixth. In all fairness, she didn't want to get pregnant this time and was denied sterilization when she asked for it six years ago (she was 28 at that time) after her fourth kid. I'm worried. She has arthritis and we're worried it's going to strike her back. If it does, she'll be a single mom of six who needs personal assistants. She is my sister and I love her, but she's so stupid. The Finnish social system and all the monetary support the government gives is meant to be short-term. She's now having her sixth kid of welfare. I haven't had one - partly because I don't have job and I don't want the government (and all the tax payers) having to feed the baby. I'm ashamed of my sister and a bit angry, but at the same time proud that she wants to work and has been working for a couple of months before this pregnancy.

We've been talking about having a baby ourselves too. I have three worries: First, my mental  health. If I'm crazy like my shit-of-a-mother is, I don't want J or the baby anywhere near me.  Second, money. J could support all three of us right now. But with a mortgage and these times in economy, it's too risky. We might end up on welfare too - and that's definitely what I do not want. Three, my weight. I'm obese right now and it's supposed to harm the baby. It's stupid anyway, I eat properly but still bulge from every corner. No chips, no sweets, no chocolate, no hamburgers, pizzas... Oh, there is a fourth worry. I'm 30 now. I'm getting old for having my first baby. Most women have one at the age of 26. And in four years my fertility rate goes down and risk rate goes up. I'm in a hurry. J could wait. He could take a twentysomething thai woman at his fifties and have as many as he wishes but my time is running out.

I've been worried for my country for years now and finally there's a little light of hope. The True Finns (as CNN named then, I'd prefer Concervative Finns) or Perussuomalaiset got a whopping 34 seats in the parliamental election. They would have needed only two more to gain the most power. Unfortunately there are still many idealistic idiots in the country. And of course the media paints the Perussuomalaiset's as neonazi, racist and all. And that's not what they are.. I'm happy that they are now working to save this country from news like this.

The leaves are green and getting bigger every minute. It's almost summer. And it's almost a crime to sit inside on a day like today.

Rest In Peace, Dear Friend

It's sort of funny how things turn out. Funny, but definitely creepy.

Without the druggie dead in our neighborhood I would have never ended up knowing that an old childhood friend of mine was brutally murdered last summer.

I knew about the death but I never knew who the victim was. Then I heard his name and hoped it was someone else. When I saw a picture of the victim, I knew.

He was drowned and when he didn't die during the drowning sequence, they beat him up with shovels and stood on his throat. They sung happy songs (children's play songs)  to cover up the sounds of killing that dear boy. He didn't die of all the kicking, beating and tormenting, so they buried him. He finally met his death and choked in dirt. He was left in his shallow grave but it wasn't enough for the three murderers. They dug him up, wrapped him and moved him 20 kilometers away from the city and put him in an empty house where the police found him after his worried relatives filed him missing.

I've known that boy since I was 12. He was a hunter, an avid fisherman. He loved to make lures for fly-fishing. He served in the second most prestigeous military unit in the country and served well. He enjoyed his drink, but always in a positive manner. He had many, many friends and relatives. He chose these three guys as friends and had to pay for it dearly.

I used to play on PlayStation with him and his kid brother. He introduced me to hockey trading cards, to their gold fish and other kids to play with. I never had other kids to play with at home. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere and because my shit-of-a-mum beat me up constantly for no reason whatsoever I could never bring friends over. So it was not before I was taken from her that I learned to actually talk with other kids and play.

Rest in Peace, dear friend.

No matter what the murderers defend themselves with or how many lies they tell and are able to feed the court, we know you are a star. We know the truth.


"Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly."— Neil Gaiman (Fables and Reflections)

The Murder In The Neighborhood

Okay, so, basically now we know what happened. The woman killed was a druggie, her kid taken away to foster care. Crimes, you know, the works. The dude who allegedly killed her had been convicted of murder once already and had gotten out early. There are two more people involved, the wife of the killer and the brother-in-law of the victim. All criminals, druggies.

One druggie less, I say.

It's a strange January. It's a uphill-downhill ride with the temperatures. Tomorrow it will be something closer to zero (centigrade) and just today it was -21 (centig.). And the day after tomorrow it's supposed to be back to -20. It should be -20 the whole month through.  I'm glad there's lots and lots of snow.

I'm nervous about starting at my new job. I've been overlooked in so many interviews I've lost every bit of confidence I once had plenty of. I'm half expecting to be fired. Everyone's saying be positive, be positive.. well, I can't magic the effin positive from nothing. FFS.

And Taking My Words Back..

I apologize for my prejudice. It wasn't "honor murder" as I suggested.

The woman murdered in our neighborhood was a regular, home grown drugaddict criminal who was murdered by several people together. I heard a rumor they had told her that if she entered the city, they'd kill her. She did enter the city and they did kill her.

Apparently this was an inside thing of a group that has a variety of crimes on their rap sheet: drugs, theft, violence.

The public opinion is -of course- on the victim's side. Apparently she had spawned a child (that was in the custory of the woman's mother because the vic wanted to "go have a fun night out" = go back to her old habits) and everyone is all coochy-coo and "devastated". I do feel sorry for the kid. Actually I want to give a good spanking to the social worker who didn't take the kid and put it to foster care. Foster care is better than relatives if the relatives are useless.

Hello people... That's one druggie criminal less. And the ones who finished her off? In prison where they should spend the rest of their lives. But knowing the judicial system here, all of them are out in just a few lousy years, back in their business, having their rents and living paid for them - and just spending government funds.. that could be used in .. say.. caring of the elderly people? Funding afternoon activities for the less fortunate kids? Nooo.. cause they are druggie criminals, they are worth more to the society.

I'm not sorry for her. The kid is the only thing that worries me here. The grandmother obviously did a good (NOT!) work raising her daughter so raising her granddaughter might not end too well either.

I would have felt compassion if she had been killed because of crazy religiopolitic mumbo-jumbo that doesn't allow women their freedom. But I don't feel compassion because I don't give a rat's ass about people who waste their only life taking drugs. If she's had a hard life, you say? I've had a shitty life and you don't see me or thousands of other shitty lifed people taking drugs and commiting crimes.

Well, actually I'm commiting a crime... I'm speaking out my mind. It's actually punishable in today's world. Even if you base your opinion on the truth, the truth is so inconvenient to some well connected people that you are slowly silenced. Yes, even in a country that has always had it's pride in letting people speak their minds, vote according to their own preferences.. even here.