What Men & Women Say And What They Mean

What men say and what they mean?

1. My mom is the most important thing in my life

I'm gay but not willing to come out yet

2. I haven't found the right woman yet

I'm gay but not willing to come out yet. Or I'm a dick who beats his women or demands too much or is just a regular dick.

3. There's only one woman for me and I haven't found her yet

I have commitment issues. Or: I'm gay and not willing to come out yet

4. I'm happy with her, she completes me as a person

She sleeps with me, doesn't fart in front of me and always wears make-up

5. We don't need to get married

Cause I'm afraid of divorce, custody battle and losing

6. I like you

I'd like to have sex with you

7. I think I love you

This will definitely get me between your legs

8. It's not you, it's me.

It's me. I want to keep on bed-hopping in hopes of finding someone more skinnier, prettier and richer than you.

9. I love you

I love you. Or at least I think I do. At least for now. This is not, like, forever.

10. We're through

We're through. Don't start crying, it's no use. You have no use to me.

11. Should we forget all others and start seeing only each other?

You're going to forget all others and be mine. I'm going to keep a reserve.

12. Will you marry me?

Shit, should have asked about the prenup first.

13. You're pregnant? Really? Wow, I mean, wow.

Fuck. Shit. No, no, no. How could you do this to me?

14. I'm not ready to be a father

I don't want kids! They smell, are noisy and cost money!

15. I don't want this baby, but I want you

You better have an abortion

16. You'll be a great mom, I'm sure!

But I won't be here seeing that

17. Want to move in together?

I need someone to share the rent and since I already sleep with you, wouldn't mind. I hope you're into cleaning.

18. I'm sure my mom will like you!

You better look sweet and innocent or she'll eat you alive

19. Don't worry, at least my dad will like you!

He'll like anything with boobs and blonde hair...

20. How many boyfriends have you had?

You better lie.

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What women say and what they mean?

1. My dad is the most important thing in my life

I haven't had a real boyfriend yet.

2. I haven't found the right man yet

I can't trust anyone, really.

3. There's only one man for me and I haven't found him yet

I have too high standards. Actually, you'd look great with black hair.

4. I'm happy with him, he completes me as a person

I can fart, burb and yawn in front of him and don't need to prented I like ice hockey.

5. We don't need to get married

At least not this year

6. I like you

I love you, but can't say it yet or you might get scared and run away

7. I think I love you

Don't flip out, don't flip out, don't flip...

8. It's not you, it's me.

It's you. You don't shower, you're not giving me enough attention and your wallet is not as fat as I thought it was.

9. I love you

I love you. Will you marry me and give me four, no three children?

10. We're through

I'm testing you. If you say "ok", we're through, but if you're willing to fight, I might take you back.

11. Should we forget all others and start seeing only each other?

You're going to erase all female contacts from you phone and never talk to another woman again! I'll keep Dave and Mark, they are my exes, but they are my friends.

12. Will you marry me?

Why the hell do I have to be the one to ask?

13. I'm pregnant.

You better at least act happy.

14. I'm not ready to be a mother

I am, really, but I'm testing you.

15. I don't want this baby, but I want you

I'm not ready to be a mother. I'd rather have you.

16. You'll be a great dad, I'm sure!

At least your wallet will be.

17. Want to move in together?

I can keep a better eye on you if we live together.

18. I'm sure my mom will like you!

You're handsome and I've already told her you're rich.

19. Don't worry, at least my dad will like you!

I told him you're rich and that's enough for him.

20. How many girlfriends have you had?

I'm testing you. You better not lie, 'cause I'll find out the truth eventually.

Holy Poo Bryan Adams Takes Good Photos

Check the Bryan Adams web site. I don't know what he says to those people, but they look at the camera in such a way...

I knew he is a photographer and was a photographer before he started taking his music seriously but I always thought he takes some black&white pics and that's it, but hey, Harry Belafonte! He's shot, like, everyone. I only wish I'd knew how he looks at Angelina Jolie through his lens. (He made Josh Groban look handsome)

Now, I have ALWAYS denied being a fan of anyone, but I have to confess I used to like Adams' music pretty much back in the early nineties, before I took a liking of electronic music. I did have a picture of him on my wall, but not for long. Does that count as being a fan?

If I was asked who'd I want to date, I guess it might be Bryan Adams. I'd ask him what he was thinking when he first had the idea of a melody to Star. Or did his heart start racing when he completed the chorus to Everything I do (I do it for you).

I'm sad his music just keeps repeating the same all through the year(s). Maybe he is better off photographing people. Sry.

An Open Letter To Josh Groban

Dear Josh,

The thing you did at the Emmy's...

It cracked me up. It was great! I had the best laugh for weeks! Anyone who said you shouldn't have done it are uptight cu*ts! You always sing these doo-do-loo-la-la-lovey-dovey -songs and that was a breath of clean air! You actually can sing other than pretty churchy songs too! Awesome! Amazing! I'm not a fan of yours, I don't even like more than two of your songs but your v-log gave me the impession you're not this pure little cute church-boy and I LIKE IT! A little bad boy in your image would do great!

I also think that you could ditch your eyeglasses to something more.. umm.. less gay. Check out the Police Eyewear, they'll look great on you. Try V 8270 for starters and fire your stylist for letting you wear those hideous Dame Edna things.

Also, I'm going to be stealing your song to make a Sims 2 video, hope you'll forgive me and not sue. Tell that to your label too.

What else..? Oh, right. I have never-ever-ever though of you as something more than the too-good-awkward neighbor boy type, but your late night kitchen blog made me think what kind of a kisser you are. Than I remembered how young you are and I realized I probably wouldn't get to try unless I became a Natalie Portman myself. Anyway.

Are you gay? I don't mind if you are, I just want to say that the womanhood is missing something in you. If you aren't, don't marry. Or at least do a prenup.

Here's the JG v-log embedded for you few readers:


Late Night Kitchen Time from Josh Groban on Vimeo.

They killed him!

Jim has been shot and survived. He looks at Melinda and waits for her to wake up after falling asleep next to Jim's hospital bed. When Melinda opens her eyes, they have a short conversation:

Jim: You're more beautiful every time I see you.
Melinda: You're awake! I love you.
Jim: Mel, there's a thing that happened. Umm... Uh, it's called an embolism - it's a technical term and you don't need to know about it.
Melinda: Let me go get you a doctor.
Jim: No, please. Just look at me, right here. Please look at me, right now. Look, look at me right here. I want you to remember me this way, please.

By this time Melinda understands there's something wrong, so she looks at the bed where Jim was sleeping when she fell asleep in the chair. His body is on the bed and the heart rate monitor now shows flatline. He's gone.

Jim: I'll always love you, Melinda
Melinda: No.
Jim: Always
Melinda: No, not you. Please, not you.

So, that's Ghost Whisperer for me. Killing Jim was the last episode I'll see.