I'm on a diet, and on my last one.
I will never wear size 14 again. NEVER!
When people were made, there were some pieces left - enough to make one more person. That's me. I'm leftovers.
Thursday
Sunday
Happy Mother's Day
Dear Mother,
I hope that one day you'll see what you have done and for a short moment will feel all the terror you have made us, your children, feel.
I hope that after realizing the damage you have done will make you come and say you're sorry and ask for our forgiveness. Only then you can have it.
If you can't understand your own mistakes, none of your grandkids will come visit you, no one will send you cards on christmas. Three of them hate you already. Not because they were told what you are, but because of your words and actions they have had to experience when we were trying to make you part of the family you couldn' t make us.
You will die alone, mother. How does it make you feel? To think that there will be no one holding your hand when you take your last breath. There will be none of your children present when you've put in to the ground. There will be no long time friends there, no husbands, no sisters, no brothers, no one but a priest from the church you abandoned long time ago and which abandoned you.
You have burned all the bridges behind you.
Happy Mother's Day, mother.
All your children spend their mother's day with someone elses' mother... And probably I'm the only one who thinks of you, me, who has gotten the worst out of you.
Oh, I have one memory to share with you, mother:
When I left my foster parents house after living there for almost eight years, the mother gave me a book. It was a very sad story of a little girl who eventually found her place in life - and it was called "The Little Well-bred Girl". In it's first leaf it read:
"I hope you will find your place in life, little well-bred girl. I hope that you will find your inner child, because you never learned how to be one. I hope that one day you will raise another well-bred girl who will never have to learn life the way you have learned."
Mother, I don't wish I was never born. I wish I was born to someone else than you. I'd might be a whole lot more than just leftovers.
This mother's day is dedicated to you, S, though we were never allowed to call you mother.
I hope that one day you'll see what you have done and for a short moment will feel all the terror you have made us, your children, feel.
I hope that after realizing the damage you have done will make you come and say you're sorry and ask for our forgiveness. Only then you can have it.
If you can't understand your own mistakes, none of your grandkids will come visit you, no one will send you cards on christmas. Three of them hate you already. Not because they were told what you are, but because of your words and actions they have had to experience when we were trying to make you part of the family you couldn' t make us.
You will die alone, mother. How does it make you feel? To think that there will be no one holding your hand when you take your last breath. There will be none of your children present when you've put in to the ground. There will be no long time friends there, no husbands, no sisters, no brothers, no one but a priest from the church you abandoned long time ago and which abandoned you.
You have burned all the bridges behind you.
Happy Mother's Day, mother.
All your children spend their mother's day with someone elses' mother... And probably I'm the only one who thinks of you, me, who has gotten the worst out of you.
Oh, I have one memory to share with you, mother:
When I left my foster parents house after living there for almost eight years, the mother gave me a book. It was a very sad story of a little girl who eventually found her place in life - and it was called "The Little Well-bred Girl". In it's first leaf it read:
"I hope you will find your place in life, little well-bred girl. I hope that you will find your inner child, because you never learned how to be one. I hope that one day you will raise another well-bred girl who will never have to learn life the way you have learned."
Mother, I don't wish I was never born. I wish I was born to someone else than you. I'd might be a whole lot more than just leftovers.
This mother's day is dedicated to you, S, though we were never allowed to call you mother.
Tales From The Past
Today J's mother, who is over 70 already, told me this when I asked if she knew any real ghost stories. She told me a story which her best friend told her of her experience.
Aile was a girl at her early twenties at that time. She went to work at a house for a day, it was summer. She had to spend the night in. At that time, it was not unusual for people to give a place to sleep for workmen, relatives, bypassers, there were very few crimes. She was given the little guest room next to the large room that would now be described as the dining hall, but at time it was more than just a dining room, all the social activity in the house happened in that room. The mistress of the house warned her she might have hard time sleeping there because of all the noise. She was wondering what was the point until it was time to go to bed. She described the noise as "if someone was riding horseback inside". They were telling that there were just noises, nothing else. No one would get hurt. She was horrified, of course. The girl who shared her room was brave enough to go see, but there was nothing there, just the sound. Obviously they were tired the next day, but at least Aile had big news for her best friend. J's mother keeps wondering if they pulled a prank on her, but she remembers that the house became somewhat famous and the noises kept on going even when the house was empty. It's a shame she couldn't remember the exact spot where the house used to be, but she remembers the village. So it could be possible to find this farm, if it still exists.
She also told me what her father had told her. This was a bit farther away in the past, it was the time her granddad was in his twenties. He, too, had been working at a house and had to stay some nights there every now and then. The workmen were sleeping all together in a large room. There were no noises, but a little more annoying ghost, I suppose. This one pulled the pillows from the sleeping people. This young man, however was a cold-nerved guy who didn't get startled when his pillow was pulled to the floor. He took the pillow, put it back under his head and kept sleeping. The master of the house told the workmen that the ghost doesn't do any harm, that it was a prankster and just kept pulling the pillows. J's grandgranddad solved the problem on his own behalf the next night when they were sleeping. He had taken some ash next to the wooden bench he slept on. When one of his "roommates" swore over the pillow-stealing ghost, he woke up too and saw a figure only from the waist up. He took the ash and threw the ash at the figure. It disappeared and he was the only one who could sleep his nites at peace after that.
J's mum also told me about a man who lived at her village when she was in her early twenties. It was told, that the man could lay a curse on anyone. He had said that if someone ever steals from his garden, the culprit would paralyze. Two boys, one she knew from school and another who she barely knew, went. They both paralyzed the next day. She told me it really happened overnight. The other boy and his mother went to this man an apologized and shortly after he got much better, but the other boy didn't go apologize. He remained paralyzed the rest of his life. She also told me this man was responsible for many other hexes too. Everyone were afraid of him and were scared to say anything bad about him. It was told that this man also had a clear consciousness at his death bed. He felt no remorse whatsoever and refused a priest. He was buried in church ground and was blessed by a priest. To keep him from coming back beyond the grave.
These were true stories. I have known J's mum for six years and I can say she's the most straightforward, honest and true person I've known. So she wouldn't lie, I'm sure. It's a shame she's already starting to forget things and I'd like to ask more, but I don't want to make her feel bad for not remembering.
So, Good night kids, there are true ghosts out there.
Aile was a girl at her early twenties at that time. She went to work at a house for a day, it was summer. She had to spend the night in. At that time, it was not unusual for people to give a place to sleep for workmen, relatives, bypassers, there were very few crimes. She was given the little guest room next to the large room that would now be described as the dining hall, but at time it was more than just a dining room, all the social activity in the house happened in that room. The mistress of the house warned her she might have hard time sleeping there because of all the noise. She was wondering what was the point until it was time to go to bed. She described the noise as "if someone was riding horseback inside". They were telling that there were just noises, nothing else. No one would get hurt. She was horrified, of course. The girl who shared her room was brave enough to go see, but there was nothing there, just the sound. Obviously they were tired the next day, but at least Aile had big news for her best friend. J's mother keeps wondering if they pulled a prank on her, but she remembers that the house became somewhat famous and the noises kept on going even when the house was empty. It's a shame she couldn't remember the exact spot where the house used to be, but she remembers the village. So it could be possible to find this farm, if it still exists.
She also told me what her father had told her. This was a bit farther away in the past, it was the time her granddad was in his twenties. He, too, had been working at a house and had to stay some nights there every now and then. The workmen were sleeping all together in a large room. There were no noises, but a little more annoying ghost, I suppose. This one pulled the pillows from the sleeping people. This young man, however was a cold-nerved guy who didn't get startled when his pillow was pulled to the floor. He took the pillow, put it back under his head and kept sleeping. The master of the house told the workmen that the ghost doesn't do any harm, that it was a prankster and just kept pulling the pillows. J's grandgranddad solved the problem on his own behalf the next night when they were sleeping. He had taken some ash next to the wooden bench he slept on. When one of his "roommates" swore over the pillow-stealing ghost, he woke up too and saw a figure only from the waist up. He took the ash and threw the ash at the figure. It disappeared and he was the only one who could sleep his nites at peace after that.
J's mum also told me about a man who lived at her village when she was in her early twenties. It was told, that the man could lay a curse on anyone. He had said that if someone ever steals from his garden, the culprit would paralyze. Two boys, one she knew from school and another who she barely knew, went. They both paralyzed the next day. She told me it really happened overnight. The other boy and his mother went to this man an apologized and shortly after he got much better, but the other boy didn't go apologize. He remained paralyzed the rest of his life. She also told me this man was responsible for many other hexes too. Everyone were afraid of him and were scared to say anything bad about him. It was told that this man also had a clear consciousness at his death bed. He felt no remorse whatsoever and refused a priest. He was buried in church ground and was blessed by a priest. To keep him from coming back beyond the grave.
These were true stories. I have known J's mum for six years and I can say she's the most straightforward, honest and true person I've known. So she wouldn't lie, I'm sure. It's a shame she's already starting to forget things and I'd like to ask more, but I don't want to make her feel bad for not remembering.
So, Good night kids, there are true ghosts out there.
Saturday
The Un-read Blog
No one reads my blog. I've been doing this since 2k5 and still no hits..
Except for four returning customers that include one friend. So thanks to the three of you who keep reading my nutty thoughts.
Well, I started making this for myself anyway, so I don't mind.
So, if you happen to stop by, here's a blog you can't find. Really, you can't. Use Google, anything, I'm scribbling the only Un-read blog on the intahweb. It's funny that Google obviously hosts this, my account is for Google and even they don't know about me...
It's kind of funny.. or kind of sad. Whichever you like best.
Except for four returning customers that include one friend. So thanks to the three of you who keep reading my nutty thoughts.
Well, I started making this for myself anyway, so I don't mind.
So, if you happen to stop by, here's a blog you can't find. Really, you can't. Use Google, anything, I'm scribbling the only Un-read blog on the intahweb. It's funny that Google obviously hosts this, my account is for Google and even they don't know about me...
It's kind of funny.. or kind of sad. Whichever you like best.
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